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...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists & urban adventurers.
Our relationship was forged to the soundtrack of Yoko Ono's magic,
frenetic, angst-laden hit, "Walking On Thin Ice." ( play song )
 
   
 
 

testicle ticket

February 8th, 2010

a Bu Han tea blossom - foto by Smith

As far as the Super Bowl goes, I don’t know who won, don’t even know which teams played, their cities, or their names, but I do know The Who provided mid-game music. Guess that’s all that’s really important.

In my old TV days, I at least cared about the cool Super Bowl ads, but even my interest in that has gone the way of the weekly garbage.

I played sports in high school, prep school and college — baseball, basketball, track, wrestling, saber fencing — but even then I didn’t care for them (except for the fencing, that was pretty cool). I didn’t want to play sports, but I thought I’d get a girl friend out of it (didn’t).

Lady has suggested my daily headline harvesting is “kooky.” I beg to differ, perhaps will explain why I believe it’s a valid collage / warning / educational / critical social networking activity in my next blog.

But in honor of the breath-taking mind-boggling unimportance of sports and their out-of-shape over-weight under-educated couch-potato watchers, here are some of the more shallow sex and body part oriented headlines I’ve recently waded through so you wouldn’t have to.

That these stories are considered important actual news to be reported on serious sites tells us more about the state of our world, morals and collective mind than any hundred of my blog rants ever will.

But, I have to admit sex sells - each one of these goodies caught my eye faster than a money mangling lily livered lying substance stealing phony patriotic politician humping his wife’s pet dog.

Here in the west we hide the body, denigrate its parts, make human flesh TITilating, desire undivine. We worship our body flesh, as long as its naughty bits like nipples remain unseen.

As I wrote in Lamentations 5, The Faithful Bewail:

Oh yes
It’s all tits and toothpaste
A test tease totality
In textbook time

~ ~ ~

Man Offers TESTICLE For Super Bowl Tickets

Tits and Ass or Climate Change?

Mind/Body Or Mind/Butt?

Golden Globes Best Dressed Cleavage

Nicole Kidman’s Nipply Golden Globes Dress

Cop Loses Nipple In Gold Coast Attack, Man Charged

Madonna’s Boyfriend Flashes Pubic Hair, Talks Career

Ricky Gervais On His VERY Tiny Penis

Prankster Grabs For David Beckham’s Genitals

Purdue Defender Goes For The Crotch Grab

Kirstie Alley Wants To Bash In Joy Behar’s Vagina

The 6 Weirdest Things Women Do to Their Vaginas

Joy Behar Asks Former Edwards Aide About Rielle Hunter’s Vagina

I’m A Born-Again Virgin

Sexpot turns Sexbot in Sin City

Marilyn Monroe’s Panties Inspire Retro Lingerie Line

WATCH: Walrus Gives Himself Oral Pleasure (NSFW)

Dictionary In Classroom Banned Because Of “Oral Sex” Definition

One Grammy Winner’s Celebration: Drinking & Masturbation

Man With World’s Largest Penis, Unemployed In New York

Heidi Klum & Tori Spelling Let Their Kids See Their Naked Photos

Madonna’s Breasts Model For Dolce & Gabbana

Grammys Chest Dressed: Who Wore Low-Cut Best?

Breast-Dressed

Grammy Breasts

Katy Perry Bares Back, Side Boob At Grammys

Olympic Athlete Removed Breast Implants To Increase Performance

2010 Lingerie: Anti-Wrinkle Bras, Milk Protein Underwear

Dresses Made From Condoms

Recycle Your Bra! Bosom Buddy Program Donates Old Bras To Women In Need

Boobies, Vibrators, And One-Night Stands: The Ladies Of “The View” Get Dirty

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes Causing Major Slut Spill (NSFW)

Rush Limbaugh: ‘I Love The Women’s Movement, Especially When I’m Walking Behind It’

Male Birds With Brighter Breasts Have Stronger Sperm, Study Shows

Ten Former Child Stars You’d Sleep With Today

Policeman Suspended For Having Sex In Church DURING Service

Mobster To Informant Son: ‘You Came From My Balls And You Should Have Known Better’

~ ~ ~

Personally I’ve been inspired by these to give a nickname to my penis like Elvis presley did — he called his Little Elvis. I’ve named mine Micro Soft.


a Bu Han tea blossom - foto by Smith
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fertile lies

February 6th, 2010

detail from assemblage / painting / collage by Lady K - foto by Smith

Lady just told our guest that she (Lady) was first attracted to me because of my enigmatic black tee-shirts, the smell of marijuana left in my wake, my outlaw past, and my disgusting poems.

Which disgusting poems I inquired.

The one that mentioned pussy and semen and went way beyond the edge.

I couldn’t place such a piece and didn’t think I even had one so did a search for ’semen’ on my master list and found three hits. It was this one, so guess she’s right — again.

~ ~ ~

Fertile Lies

Small particles of truth lace love’s lies

Peeping one-eyed cat’s seafood stores
Mount used two love carnivore rides
Cast past sated loss

Self to self slip service schemes for the day
Emasculation Mama stiff with semen
Screams dreams porta piss shit machine
Message me to mine

Bile regenerative truth du jour:
loving spoonful’s
pearl jam
nirvana
to my hole

Steven B. Smith, May 1995

~ ~ ~

Some explanations:

A ‘one-eyed cat’ is a penis and the sea-food store is the fishy smelling vagina — this is in reference to the line from Shake, Rattle and Roll that goes “I’m like the one-eyed cat peeping in a seafood store / Well I can look at you tell you aint no child no more.”

‘Used two love’ is an opaque enigmatic reference to Shakespeare’s description of human copulation as ‘making the beast with two backs’.

A spoonful is the average amount of a man’s ejaculation, and a loving spoonful was what they called the male climax in Victorian times.

Pearl jam is a glisteny pool of male ejaculate.

And of course Loving Spoonful, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and Hole are the names of four bands as well as sexual metaphors.

This is Epilogue Smith, once again reporting the last word from the tarnished flecking silvered backside the mirror.


detail from Smith assemblage - foto by Smith
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6 one half dozen other

February 4th, 2010

yesterday - foto by Smith

Wrote these yesterday as individual blurts, then repackaged them under an artificial title for today’s consumption.

Odd that consumption once meant the disease of Tuberculosis which consumed the patient, but now it is what we must do to be good Core-Poor-Ate Rats. Seems we are consumed either way.

~ ~ ~

Yesterday’s Wine

*

Outlaw Music

Toggle in the fade
While I bring down the barcode
Beat this baby back

*

Gruel

Ice thin sunlight hits
Monday morning winter earth
Warmth in cold beauty

*

Oui

My Lady and I
We are one flame, two candles
We dance in the wind

*

Wake

The West Side Market
Dead flesh and dying people
Flowers ripped from ground

*

Less

There is much danger
In taking such great caution
That now becomes then

*

Today

No marijuana
I wonder if I can smoke
My pot metal tray

~ ~ ~


tomorrow - foto by Smith
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psychotopia

February 3rd, 2010

John Smith - foto by Smith

Psychotopia

There is a tic-toc
Talking ticking in my brain
Saying go, no, go

Nothing coming in
Money going out
Not a good day to be me

My social life is
The other side of eerie
Just outside mundane

On Status Island
It is the size of your bling
The me of your mouth

The rich rip the poor
In money manner matter
Then steal some more

Creating sickness
We worship our placebos
Wallow in the mud

We gobble and go
Ancient mist in the mirror
Moisture in the mouth


stone smile - foto by Smith
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4 from 2day

February 2nd, 2010

snakeeyes - foto by Smith

red sails in the sunset - foto by Smith

perspective - foto by Smith

the grassy X - foto by Smith
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monday morning winter earth

February 1st, 2010



monday morning winter earth - fotos by Smith
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mundania

January 31st, 2010

r u hungry? - foto by Smith

Here’s a mundane poem about the momentary nothings that affect the flow of our daily lives, inconsequential details of non-moments told in non-haiku.

I think technically these eight stanzas are senryū, as are most if not all the 8 poems I’ve written these past 2 weeks containing 54 haiku or senryū - I’ll explore my thoughts on this maybe tomorrow in a poem titled The Haiku Police.

~ ~ ~

Mundania

Refrigerator
clicks on hum in the kitchen
two dark rooms away

Wake, rise, piss, shit, weigh,
brush, gargle, kiss wife, pet cat,
make coffee, sit, blog

Coffee in morning
Hot lentil curry for lunch
Dinner banana

I toke the last smoke
knowing the normal ahead
Contentedly go

Sit on couch and read
Sit on couch and do my work
Sit on couch and rest

Wife’s ex ran up bills
in her name, crashed her credit
Worm in man’s body

The interaction
twixt men, women, strangers, friends
is hopeless at best

Get your head out of
your morass and pick your ass
up off the ground, clown


snow - foto by Smith
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freedonia

January 30th, 2010

poverty - foto by Smith

Freedonia

Gave up Lent for Lent
Had enough of their Pay-now
Don’t-collect-later

Slick chains the rich play
Around the poor to keep them
Turning other cheek

Your Trickle-Down plan
Feels warm yellow sticky
You pissing on me?

Anything they want
The rich take without asking
And no giving back

Republican scum
Or Democrat cowardice
Crooks at either end

Is non-violent
Revolution a trick to
Keep us in our place?

The Gots they do got
The Got-nots get even less
Fuck me very much


third world - foto by Smith
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dear diary

January 29th, 2010

ectoplasm, West Side Market - foto by Smith

Dear Diary

Online mindless I
Play Solitaire or Tetris
In Zen nowhen trance

Dark dreams in the day
Feed on the shit left over
From my happy lies

Can’t keep being me
All the time - don’t like just me
Better be’s to be

A common suture
To fix bad start, broken odds
A walk in the woulds

My head nods, dips down
Eyes close, sleep creep, mind ramble
Delicious nowhere

This play of three lines
In seventeen syllables
Seeks grace as its goal

For there is cool
And there is cruel
And one is not the other


ectoplasm, West Side Market - foto by Smith
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cat noir

January 28th, 2010

queen cat - foto by Smith

I spose I’ve gone too far this time, beyond the pale, too close to kitsch.

Already been too many haiku — household haiku, funny haiku, family haiku, philosophical haiku, moral haiku, sex haiku, faux haiku, diary haiku, social satirical surreal brooding wide ranging bad and good haiku, senryū haiku.

Yet here’s another seven-in-oner, only this time it’s feline lines.

Cat Noir

Food! And affection!
Clean cat box! And attention!
It’s ALL about her

Her sad meow of
Existential howl rends
But is fake, I laugh

Hug her to my ear
Purr rumble against my chest
Proper start to day

I give the cat ham
She rubs my leg in purr fur
Walks to wife for more

Suncat lies in light
Curving purr, lick stretch fur, yawn
So slow, motion art

The cat wakes my wife
Each morning at 4 a.m.
Get up! Time to play!

Cat walks a thin line
Between cute and obnoxious
Cuddle or cat gut


cat noir - foto by Smith
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