interstitial states
kathy sent this email to a friend… i think it sums up stuff:
RE our changing states: overall, we are a lot more tolerant of uncomfortable situations. We initially had mild arguments when we got into new cities over which direction to go. I don’t know why my initial state is to want certainty. It’s good to let things get looser, to not hurry, to not be so concerned.
I was so worried about going to the hospital in another country, but we’ve done it a couple times. No problem. I learned to write everything out in advance because a lot of times ppl don’t understand my accent.
I was also so worried about what everyone thought of me. But now I’m pretty darned proud of myself. I know I can go anywhere, can approach almost anyone. Making a fool outta myself in 6 languages quickly eliminated apprehension. I just had to get over it.
Steve’s pretty darned easy for me to get along with. He hasn’t really changed much. He gets tired in transit but recovers after a couple days. He feels a basic dissatisfaction with himself if he doesn’t constantly create, but this isn’t a change.
By this constant study in contrasting cultures and environments, I grind myself to the whetstone as well. I refine my desires and dislikes. I’ve learned that I live for beauty, for my eyes, for my health. That people and plants and animals, the sky, the water, the earth - all these are more important than things or music or food or even ideas. I’ve learned that I intensely dislike working for other people in structured settings. I’ve acquired a continuity of consciousness. I’ve acquired an ability to work on one thing intensely without feeling guilty for not simultaneously improving myself in all other areas.
Take care, Kathy
(we’re in the spaces between the pages - smith)
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