...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists, photographers & adventurers.
Our relationship was forged to the soundtrack of Yoko Ono's magic,
frenetic, love-laden song, "Walking On Thin Ice." ( play song )
Archive for March, 2007
Saturday, March 31st, 2007
lady k kills the pirated movie we just watched (sofia coppola’s marie antoinette – 2006), “i bit bucketed it”. i ask her if that’s how she’s going to dispose of me when i go – “no, i’m going to recycle you, maybe make you into brownies.” at least i won’t have those old bit bucket blues.
5 days left in our french love nest. i like it here. i’m not prepared to leave. i’m ready to move on. i’m not prepared to stay. sort of like my life – i like being me, i don’t like being me. but bottom line, there’s no one past present future living dead i’d rather be than me, and i’d rather be alive than dead – so i guess i gotta be me. my options are somewhat limited – be me, not be me, be alive, not be alive. besides, lady k isn’t done sucking all my past stories from these bones. she finds me more interesting than i do, but i do lick myself incessantly anyway.
what is the sound of one hand clapping?
- patting yourself on the back.
finally created a knock knock joke:
- not the world, knocked much longer.
- knock the world, not much longer.
there, i now have 6 categories of original jokes…
my chicken crossing the road joke:
why did the chicken cross the road?
- to get revenge for the road crossing him.
my grape joke:
whatâ€™s purple, really angry, and youâ€™d better stay out of their way?
- the grapes of wrath.
my cop jokes:
What do you call an honest cop? - mythological.
What do you call a dead cop? - necessary.
my abortion joke:
Persian abortion - stuff snake up snatch, turn mongoose loose.
add in my zen koan jokes, my knock knock jokes, and i’m ready for the big time. i could be the steven wright of sufi stand-up comedy.
one more zen koan joke:
why is the sound of one gland collapsing?
- what the right gland giveth, the wrong gland taketh awry.
Saturday, March 31st, 2007
“This article says we might attack Iran April 6,” Smith moans.
“Well, that’d make sense,” I say. “They like to do it over the weekend. That way everyone gets excited about it, gives them something to talk about over the holiday weekend.”
I cut some cheese for our desert and set it aside to get warm. I’m stewing. I think about us traveling to Morocco that weekend, and I wonder if we’re going to be affected by a backlash of anti-American sentiment.
I say, “It makes me sick to think of my brother over there in Iraq. What if he’s ordered to commit war crimes. How would he even avoid it, being there?”
Yesterday I read that U.S. forces raided the offices of the Iraq Syndicate of Journalists in February. They stole 15 generators which were supposed to be donated to families of killed journalists. I wondered if my brother has had to do anything like this. I love him very much. And of course there are many other incidents of much worse things.
“Americans are gullible,” Smith says. “You read what everybody says about what would happen if we attack Iran and you think, there’s no way we could attack Iran. Then you realize who’s in office.”
Then, “Oh, this is nice, Lady. Listen to what I’m reading in this article: ‘Congress quietly approved provisions making it easier for the President to declare federal martial law after a domestic terrorist incident. And recall that in late 2003, General Tommy Franks openly speculated on how a new 9/11 could lead to a military form of government: ‘a terrorist, massive, casualty-producing event somewhere in the Western world â€“ it may be in the United States of America â€“ that causes our population to question our own Constitution and to begin to militarize our country in order to avoid a repeat of another mass, casualty-producing event. Which in fact, then begins to unravel the fabric of our Constitution.”
“I don’t think there’s going to be an election. I think they’ll make an attack, declare martial law, and then just ride it out…”
Friday, March 30th, 2007
Lady K says i’m not getting angry as often – or as much. it’s because i’ve left a lot of what angered me back in america – possessions, politics, programming. it’s because i’m doing something, rather than waiting to do something. it’s because i’m testing myself and finding i’m more or less worthy of this journey. kathy takes up the slack when i’m not.
we’re where we’re not known, going where we won’t know.
need to get lady k to write a blog on travel differences – she has theories of how the food, people, weather, sky colors, landscape palettes, stores, toilets, prices, etc differ place to place. she’s more concrete, in the real world, whereas i’m rather abstract, discontinuous, not quite always there – and even when i am there, i’m not always sure where there is.
past 3 months saw my first gutting/cleaning of a fish, my 1st grill fire laid, my first empty stove gas canister replaced, my 1st repair of bicycle flat on the road. scary to be riding bicycles that have had 3 of their 4 wheels taken off, repaired and put back on by me. i would not be your first choice for a mechanic. life prods areas where we’re weakest, and mechanical skills are among my many.
* ‘last year, Congress quietly approved provisions making it easier for the President to declare federal martial law after a domestic terrorist incident. And in late 2003, General Tommy Franks openly speculated on how a new 9/11 could lead to a military form of government: â€œa terrorist, massive, casualty-producing event somewhere in the Western world â€“ it may be in the United States of America â€“ that causes our population to question our own Constitution and to begin to militarize our country in order to avoid a repeat of another mass, casualty-producing event. Which in fact, then begins to unravel the fabric of our Constitution.’ *
after reading the excerpt above on www.commondreams.org, i wondered if the cheney-bush beast will stage another terrorist attack on america so they can bomb iran, declare martial law, and cancel the 2008 elections.
i know everyone, including my friends, will say i’m way out there on this. but let us face it – this is a government that brazenly stole both elections, illegally invaded another country, killed 700,000 civilians, spies on its own citizens, and legalized torturing, kidnapping, and murdering anyone THEY say is a menace. cheney also seems to have lost 8 billion of the 12 billion dollars he had under his control – some suggest he’s using this money to run illicit anti-Iran programs around the world.
these are not ethical, honorable people – they stuff themselves on stolen power with other’s money, they feast on blood not their own.
as is, cheney-bush have nothing to lose – if they don’t shut down our legal government, they’re going to end up in jail for war crimes, high crimes, theft & malfeasance in office when they’re prosecuted by the next honest regime. they’re obviously not afraid of being punished for what they’ve done, so i think they’ve already planned another 9/11 which they’ll use as an excuse to declare martial law and take over the government the rest of the way. bye bye america, heil amerika. brain cramps anyone?
personally, i think they should all be locked in a room and forgotten – let them eat each other.
* excerpt above –
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 – CommonDreams.org
Easter Surprise: Attack on Iran, New 9/11â€¦ or Worse
by Heather Wokusch
Friday, March 30th, 2007
textbook times by s b smith
OVARIES, RUBBER BANDS & TESTICLES
I’m lost in a reverie. I’ve just looked at a high school friend’s site, and she’s posted pictures of her giggle of a girl. I imagine it’s joyful to watch a wiggle grow up, but it would be a totally different life. I wouldn’t be able to do what I do. My main concern would be the child.
Smith and I can’t have children. He had a vasectomy shortly after his first marriage.
“Whatcha thinkin?” he asks.
“Oh, I’m just sitting here thinking about kids and what it’d be like if I had them.”
“Well, I don’t know. You’d have to write me about it, because I wouldn’t be here. Unless, of course, you could have the kids for just a week — if we were selling them.”
I say, “Well, some people do that. Rich women who are sterile or don’t want to get fat — they have someone else carry their kid.”
“And frequently the surrogate mothers run off with the kid. I guess it’s hard to carry a baby and then give it away.”
“We could try that,” I say.
“Yeah, and if you were pregnant, every day, I’d ask you, is it ready to eat yet?” He likes to joke that babies belong in soup cans or cages.
The sun floods in unexpectedly.
Smith comments, “That’s anti-Heisenberg sunshine. It only comes if you don’t expect it. And it won’t be there if you go out and count on it.”
Then, “We could have ovary beads instead of rosary beads we could sell to the fertility clinics. Instead of holding rosaries, they’d hold little ovaries and say the fertility prayer 17 times.”
“I love you,” I say. “You’re cool.”
“Yes, we’ll have a service where we rent cool people to parties. We’ll say, ‘We’ll rent you two cool people for your parties.’ And then we’ll go ourselves.”
“Airfare included,” I say.
“And drug fare.”
He shifts in his seat. “You know, we could probably remove these testicles ourselves.”
“Yeah,” I say. “We knew how to change the bike tire. Now we can do anything. We could do your testicles too.”
“You know,” he says, “We could do it with rubber bands, like what we used to do on the farm. On a calf on the farm they put the rubber band up above his testicles, really tight, to cut off all the blood flow. Everything past the rubberband withers and dies. After a couple weeks, you just cut them off, snip.”
Thursday, March 29th, 2007
It is easier for a Camus to pass through the eye of the needle than it is for a Republican to get into Heaven.
i joked i’d walk a mile for a Camus – and now it appears i will. ordered a couple Camus essays which will arrive the day we leave. so on our last day in france, we’ll bus to town, then walk with our all our possessions in packs on our backs from the bus depot to the bookstore to the train station in a weird cultural parabola. there’s not many artists i’d walk with weight on my back to buy.
reality is fraying, begins to reweave itself mid-stream. metaphors abound. it’s the cleaning-up-here-getting-ready-to-go-there dues, and it’s dropping clues. for example, my computer keyboard has become interactive… last 3 days it does/does-not record my “w”s and “space”s as it sees fit. if that’s a metaphor, i don’t understand. although today it’s changed to leaving out some spaces, while adding extra spaces other places. that’s so logical, reality has to be doing it on purpose. i know the universe is playing with me – but am i its toy, or play pal?
got vaccinated today for typhoid, hepatitis, tetnus and dyptheria. i feel different inside, feel the baby diseases moving about. we’re getting bit by bits of disease so we’ll be safe to go somewhere where we can’t drink can’t wash face can’t brush teeth can’t wash vegetables unless we use bottled water. can’t even let their water get in our eyes or mouths in the shower. we do the hep-cat hepatitis dance.. we be absurd as we adlurb our way to new day say.
down to our last week in south france. each day now becomes a final affair. today’s our last day to walk up the hill to the thursday fruit man. each day he drives to a different village to sell his wares. the fish woman also comes thursdays. we keep missing the cheese woman’s drive-through, and we totally ignore the red meat man.
4 more times i’ll walk 100 paces up the hill to the village patisserie for fresh baked bread. i’ll get maybe 5 more chances to pet the old cat in front of the grocery. we always take time to look at flowers, pet cats, and talk to dogs. we also watch the lizards every chance we get… their fleet liquid sun movements charge our magic batteries.
our M.O. / S.O.P. is we move to a new town in a new country, settle in, get acquainted, get comfortable, then move on, start over. past 8 gypsy months living in 7 countries, we’ve had 5 one night stays, 1 two nighter, 3 one weekers, a 7 weeker, a 13 weeker, and this is our 7th of 8 weeks here. heading for 1 night in barcelona, 2 nights in madrid, then 2-3 months wandering around morocco – probably mostly short term stays.
you learn a lot about yourself and the world when you constantly pack up and move on. learn what’s important to you too because whatever possessions you keep, you have to carry on your back. the two items that top my list of physical needs are water and laundry. also find i’ve become hooked on internet access. which makes morocco an interesting choice because the water’s bad, the laundry and internet questionable. but that’s cool cuz the object of exploring is to move beyond yourself.
we don’t really know what we’re doing, just that we’re doing. we’re Beauty & the Beast, Lady & the Tramp, Ms Able & her Scamp.