WALKING ON THIN ICE

I ate a phoenix once. With a lizard for dessert. Everybody knows that phoenixes regenerate through self-destruction, and lizards grow new tails.

Once I assimilated this meal, I found each night, I could break off my penis and a new one would grow. That way I have a new penis for each sexual act. I no longer have to wash it.

Unfortunately, I haven’t quite figured out what the factor is, but sometimes I grow little penises, and sometimes I grow big penii. Usually have foreskins, though. Once I had a negro’s penis.

When I date, I can only go out after dark, to make sure my penis has grown back. Once I tried to have sex during lunch, and I only had a little stub with an eye in it. Scared the woman. She became a lesbian.

So I’ve done my bit for women’s rights, and wrongs.