Walking on Thin Ice

Some things Smith tells me lately:

“I used to put chocolate mousse in my hair but then it attracted fly larvae and people thought it was dandruff.”

I said, “You feel like yr king of the mountain now, don’t you.”

“Nope, just master of the mole hill.”

Another time I said, “If we were starving we could collect these live snails, escargot.”

“Yeah, and I’d throw up, and then eat it. Dog vomit.”

“Boy, I feel dopey.”

“Probably because you’re basking in my incredible brilliance.”

“No, I feel physically sluggish.”

“That’s probably why you left that trail of slime.”