all time same
foto by smith
my lady tells me “all time’s same time,” that we’re in “the big empty,” and need to keep our eye out for “the new normal.” i tell her i’m a large butterfly in a small china shop.
my plan was to temporarily return to cleveland and stay in the same love shack out back we lived in before leaving the country last year. that way, i could sit in semi-familiar surroundings, shake out our 47 moves through 10 countries in seventeen months, and try to see how my me now differs from my me then.
there are a few obvious changes. i am less angry now. more patient most times with most folk. wait better. socialize more easily. i’m happier. feel i’ve finally done something. found my one to do it with.
but today i realized there is no resolution. if you’re alive, you’re not finalized. death is the sole adjudicator. until then, stuff happens that has to be handled. you never reach a place you’re “done” until you die. we’re in the ultimate work-release program - we work at living till death’s release.
foto by smith
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