Walking on Thin Ice

foto by smith

finished reading my 2nd journal written between december 1968 and june 1969. my life’s sort of sad then - always working, broke, in debt, doing drugs, going out with my future wife, lying to everyone, and yearning for the sleep i never got due to the drug life i was hiding from work and fiancée. i had at least 5 lives going then - worker, lover, drugger, writer, liar.

my younger life in those 6 months between proposal and marriage seems to be tired desperation mixed with the occasional wildman adventure. my drug life wasn’t as much fun as i remember it - some bad trips, boredom, fear, and a lack of money in between the good times. it’s good to replace some of my glossed over memories.

20 or so notebooks to go - not sure i can be around that much of myself. but i am curious how i got from that me to this me.

and which me is this me? i just left a comment online signed red leaf white sky. think i like it. red leaf white sky smith. my other secret name is radish.

may you live interesting times.

foto by smith