testicle ticket

As far as the Super Bowl goes, I don’t know who won, don’t even know which teams played, their cities, or their names, but I do know The Who provided mid-game music. Guess that’s all that’s really important.

In my old TV days, I at least cared about the cool Super Bowl ads, but even my interest in that has gone the way of the weekly garbage.

I played sports in high school, prep school and college — baseball, basketball, track, wrestling, saber fencing — but even then I didn’t care for them (except for the fencing, that was pretty cool). I didn’t want to play sports, but I thought I’d get a girl friend out of it (didn’t).

Lady has suggested my daily headline harvesting is “kooky.” I beg to differ, perhaps will explain why I believe it’s a valid collage / warning / educational / critical social networking activity in my next blog.

But in honor of the breath-taking mind-boggling unimportance of sports and their out-of-shape over-weight under-educated couch-potato watchers, here are some of the more shallow sex and body part oriented headlines I’ve recently waded through so you wouldn’t have to.

That these stories are considered important actual news to be reported on serious sites tells us more about the state of our world, morals and collective mind than any hundred of my blog rants ever will.

But, I have to admit sex sells – each one of these goodies caught my eye faster than a money mangling lily livered lying substance stealing phony patriotic politician humping his wife’s pet dog.

Here in the west we hide the body, denigrate its parts, make human flesh TITilating, desire undivine. We worship our body flesh, as long as its naughty bits like nipples remain unseen.

As I wrote in Lamentations 5, The Faithful Bewail:

Oh yes
It’s all tits and toothpaste
A test tease totality
In textbook time

~ ~ ~

Man Offers TESTICLE For Super Bowl Tickets

Tits and Ass or Climate Change?

Mind/Body Or Mind/Butt?

Golden Globes Best Dressed Cleavage

Nicole Kidman’s Nipply Golden Globes Dress

Cop Loses Nipple In Gold Coast Attack, Man Charged

Madonna’s Boyfriend Flashes Pubic Hair, Talks Career

Ricky Gervais On His VERY Tiny Penis

Prankster Grabs For David Beckham’s Genitals

Purdue Defender Goes For The Crotch Grab

Kirstie Alley Wants To Bash In Joy Behar’s Vagina

The 6 Weirdest Things Women Do to Their Vaginas

Joy Behar Asks Former Edwards Aide About Rielle Hunter’s Vagina

I’m A Born-Again Virgin

Sexpot turns Sexbot in Sin City

Marilyn Monroe’s Panties Inspire Retro Lingerie Line

WATCH: Walrus Gives Himself Oral Pleasure (NSFW)

Dictionary In Classroom Banned Because Of “Oral Sex” Definition

One Grammy Winner’s Celebration: Drinking & Masturbation

Man With World’s Largest Penis, Unemployed In New York

Heidi Klum & Tori Spelling Let Their Kids See Their Naked Photos

Madonna’s Breasts Model For Dolce & Gabbana

Grammys Chest Dressed: Who Wore Low-Cut Best?

Breast-Dressed

Grammy Breasts

Katy Perry Bares Back, Side Boob At Grammys

Olympic Athlete Removed Breast Implants To Increase Performance

2010 Lingerie: Anti-Wrinkle Bras, Milk Protein Underwear

Dresses Made From Condoms

Recycle Your Bra! Bosom Buddy Program Donates Old Bras To Women In Need

Boobies, Vibrators, And One-Night Stands: The Ladies Of “The View” Get Dirty

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes Causing Major Slut Spill (NSFW)

Rush Limbaugh: ‘I Love The Women’s Movement, Especially When I’m Walking Behind It’

Male Birds With Brighter Breasts Have Stronger Sperm, Study Shows

Ten Former Child Stars You’d Sleep With Today

Policeman Suspended For Having Sex In Church DURING Service

Mobster To Informant Son: ‘You Came From My Balls And You Should Have Known Better’

~ ~ ~

Personally I’ve been inspired by these to give a nickname to my penis like Elvis presley did — he called his Little Elvis. I’ve named mine Micro Soft.