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...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists, photographers & adventurers.
Our relationship was forged to the soundtrack of Yoko Ono's magic,
frenetic, love-laden song, "Walking On Thin Ice." ( play song )
 
   
 
 

Archive for the ‘Conversations’ Category

I am not a robot.

Monday, March 25th, 2013

handface

I am not a robot.

“How do I know?”

I’m gooshy.

“They program robots to be gooshy now.”

I’m complicated.

“They program robots to be complicated, too.”

I have a complicated personality.

“They do that, too.”

I bleed.

“Robots can bleed, too.”

My thighs look like chicken.

“They can very cleverly do that, now, too.”

~ Smith & Lady

 

Brush your teeth & get checkups regularly

Monday, February 11th, 2013

Smith is getting his eight remaining upper teeth pulled Wednesday, the day before Valentine’s Day. I’m glad that he’s getting this done because it’s been so hard for him to chew properly. When he gets used to the dentures, this will be easier.

I asked how it is he got such tooth problems:

“Number one,” he said, “I have small teeth. Number two, we were poor. Couldn’t afford much dental work unless we had to. Number three, from ’53 to ’60, I was raised on a farm with well water. So I didn’t get the benefit of the fluoride the government started putting in the water ’bout then. Number four, when I went into the Navy, they pulled some bad teeth and said they’d replace them. They lied. Number five: when I finally had some money and started going to dentists, I got stuck with some really bad ones. One dentist even took my straight bottom teeth and made them crooked with a retainer. Number six: since I was a contractor, there were times when I didn’t have any work, yet I had to get teeth fixed. So instead of getting crowns I couldn’t afford, teeth were pulled that shouldn’t have been. Finally, I just had bad luck with teeth. My karma; seems to be.”

“How do you feel about Wednesday?”

“Oh, I think getting false upper teeth is a setback to me. It’s a line I didn’t want to cross. But I’m not worried about it. They’ll pull them, they’ll give me pain pills. The only thing I’m worried about is the temporary upper denture that won’t fit well, won’t feel good, and I have a very high gag reflex. So… it’s not going to be fun.”

I’d not really given much thought to dentures prior to hooking up with Smith. My first memory of them was Grandpa Ireland popping the teeth out at us to freak us out. Grandpa ate anything. He ate salad, he could tear at steak, he could eat corn-on-the-cob. He had dentures most of his life due to having had some kind of illness in his teens.

“I’m not worried about eating,” Smith said. “It’s just a line I didn’t want to cross, losing my teeth.”

As a forty-year-old, witnessing Smith’s tooth problems helps keep me in line brushing my teeth and seeing the dentist regularly for cleanings. Being so much younger than my partner has had some costs but has also helped me to prepare better for the future. I’m starting an IRA, I’m taking care of my teeth, I’m really working on my diet and exercise with my comfort in the long term future in mind.

The downside of being with someone who is so much older is that there is a lot of worry over my partner’s health and sadness over the thought of losing him before I die. And the mysticism of older people is pretty much gone… my parents don’t seem much like parents to me anymore in terms of authority–now they are more like peers.

~ Lady

 

Thanksgiving as a time of progress

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

At Thanksgiving I think about the abundance that will be on the table, interacting with family members and the bustle of preparation. I think about pleasing people and pleasing my stomach. I think about symbolism and pleasing tradition while making progress.

I remember Thanksgivings past, the huge table and commotion at Grandma and Grandpa Ireland’s house. I imagine my Grandparents looking in on these words and looking in on us and helping when they can. I’m looking at a photo of them as young adults and I wonder what it was like for them–they must have been almost as responsible as they were when I knew them. I imagine them being much like my brother Jonathan and new sister Dedra setting up business. My grandparents were industrious.

And the holiday’s about giving thanks for the harvest. We have so very much abundance here that it’s a concern that we do not overeat. How fortunate we are. Even very poor people here quite often have enough to eat, although there is much to do to make sure that healthy food is affordable and accessible to everyone.

How can we work our harvest better? By making the healthy stuff more prevalent, by being more ethical in how we grow it and what we consume. By being kinder to Mother Earth so she can provide harvests for us in good health.

Reaching into the gist of the moment, putting my hand into the gist of the moment, what I’d like to do is really make stronger connections. Not to be poignant for poignancy’s sake, but to make progress.

Progress in our relationships–fulfilling the promise of how we thought we were going to be as capable adults now that we are older. Progress in my relationships. So Thanksgiving is not just a time to give thanks, but to show action concerning our thanks. To work on relationships. To use the dividends of our continuing maturity. To be what we can be.

I remember a family meal Smith & I were invited to in Mexico by a serious young man who practiced English with us. He addressed everyone around the table individually and thanked them for how they contributed to his life. This was during a dinner he put together because he was leaving Mexico to be a student in Canada.

I would like to do this at our gatherings, foster this kind of serious joy in recognizing each other’s importance. Perhaps some formality or format helps, even a game? We can foster this.

At Thanksgivings at my Aunt Jan’s and Uncle Jim’s, we have gone around the table and individually articulated what we are thankful for… can we take this opportunity today?

~ Lady

 

Dialogue to help create the change we want to see

Monday, May 21st, 2012

I’ve been thinking about getting more involved in the dialogues and projects on the Civic Commons. In my inbox today I received an e-newsletter inviting people to participate in a project by America Today. They want people to answer four questions: How did we as a nation get in trouble economically? Who do you blame? How do we as a nation solve our economic problems? What are you doing differently to get through the downturn?

What I really like about the Civic Commons is that the philosophy of the project involves polite dialogue oriented around making the change we want to see.

Here are my answers:

How did we as a nation get in trouble economically?

There are multiple factors. The situation that allowed the disparity of wealth to grow way out of balance was one major one. Military spending rather than focusing on developing our strengths through education and investment in people and small businesses was another one. The way Wall Street and the banks focused on nonproductive speculation was another.

Whom do you blame?

I blame lack of citizen involvement and lack of transparency and too much corruption in the system–people not using it properly. I blame the Supreme Court a bit. I blame apathy a lot.

How do we as a nation solve our economic problems?

1) Stop killing people–defund the military and instead get those soldiers working at home on infrastructure building for a green economy.

2) Believe in a better future–the power of belief is amazing.

3) Follow up words with action. Don’t just protest–do community projects to help change the situation for the better.

4) Work on making sure our business actions follow our ideals more and stop the cynicism.

What are you doing differently to get through the downturn?

1) I’m working on better business practices–making sure our business is doing business well, ethically, honestly. This does translate into more opportunities. Our business is actually growing through this period, and the latest news shows Ohio is recovering as well.

2) I’m investing time in educating myself on current trends in my business and also am reading books on how to grow the business.

3) I buy locally whenever possible–”vote with your dollars.”

You can post your own answers to their four questions here…

 

Being at Peace in Community – Introducing Ourselves – Thoughts

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012

I was very calm and happy yesterday during our meeting, “Introducing Ourselves: Being at Peace in the Community.” Only a couple poems per se were read—the rest of the time we were wrapped up in intense, interesting discussion. I followed the discussion where it led, not wishing to impose too much of the initial kernel of the idea (meeting with police to stop violence) on the group but rather seeing where the community need is greatest. It seems that people are most concerned about children and community issues with children. At first we talked about the need to help stop bullies—we theorized that bullies are bullies because they have been bullied at home. So we discussed the need to create safe, kind role models who kids can emulate if they do not have that experience to draw from at home.

And we became very concerned about the perception of kids—like, for instance, if we were to just perform at a school one time and then move on to the next event somewhere else, what kind of expectations have we set up for the kids? Have we really helped things or have we just done something for the name of the project rather than the project’s mission?

So there was this sense of wanting to hunker down and really understand how to set the pathways to change even after we’ve gone to the next location (if that’s what we’ll do). And definitely the thought of following up and also preparing people – like meeting a week before hand and just kind of chilling with and meeting the community, then the next week doing the actual creative event, and then the following week (as an example of a time scale) doing some kind of follow-up action.

Then we really started learning more about the scale of issues in some parts of the community. I’ve not lived in a particular neighborhood where I’ve had to worry about being shot much. Some have. One person came in to the meeting and discussed the project with which he’s involved, the Community Greenhouse Project. This project is setting up in a neighborhood where there were multiple killings. I like the idea of the garden as a healing and integrative experience and hope that the project succeeds and helps people in the neighborhood.

We also talked about the need for people who have good heart to learn more rather than impose a mission ignorantly. So it was posited that some initial events could involve a kind of “we’re here, listening; please inform us and help us understand” message. Rather than broadcasting something “from above” it would be a mission of extended community building that is respectful.

Some talked about the existence of gangs—something that I hadn’t even considered, hadn’t even hit my radar of consciousness. I mean, I’ve read about gangs a small bit but didn’t really know that there were gangs in Cleveland. I really think that even if someone identifies as belonging to a gang that doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is bad. (My inside belief: no one is actually bad—it’s only the circumstances and the actions that might be bad.) So it is important to me to think about people in terms of them being people with families even if gang members, but to not ignore the reality of the issues involved with gangs.

There was the discussion of the need to explicitly identify core principles as a group and as perhaps individuals acting on our own or with other projects, and how this can focus collective vision.

We talked a little bit about how to get kids and parents more interested and perhaps slam poetry might be a means of doing this, as it is fashionable and involves diverse participants of various backgrounds.

So, lots of interesting talk, and I was calm (I’m an introvert), and I think that it might be a slower process than I thought but that’s OK. I mean, it could be a kind of organic, long term activity. I don’t want to overcommit anyone, though! There was also the thought that we need to keep the involvement fun and lighthearted to an extent so that we don’t get burned out. I really enjoy intense activity but also I don’t want to be tired all the time, so I am hoping to help keep it fun and productive and that it actually helps things.

I’ve attached some photos I took of my kind of unconventional notes jotting down of some of the ideas bounced around in the group.

My notes:

GREEN SOUP

PUSH KINDNESS, GENTLENESS & OPTIMISM

SMOKED SALT, SMOKED PAPRIKA & SHREDDED BEETS, HIJIKI WITH AVACADOS AND TOASTED SESAME OIL

REGAIN SOCIAL SKILLS

CLEVELAND, A GOOD COMMUNITY

RELATIONSHIPS

VISION

LEARN & LISTEN

WHAT’S GOING ON?

STOPPING BULLYING; STOPPING THE BULLYING OF KIDS WHO ARE BULLIES

THINK ABOUT THE PPL, PARTICULARLY KIDS AND WHAT THEY ARE THINKING AFTER THE EVENT

BE ABOUT THE PEOPLE, NOT THE “PROGRAM”

FOLLOW UP

REFINDING OPTIMISM

ASK PPL IN AREA ~ REC CENTERS ~ HOUGH

WRITE A PAGE & LET THAT PAGE COME OUT OF U

CONNECTEDNESS

BUILD A MODEL ON CERTAIN PRINCIPLES ~ WHAT WOULD BE OUR CONNECTION TO THE COMMUNITY?

“THE LONGER WE TELL THE TRUTH THE MORE IT WILL BE THE TRUTH”

SHYNESS

CREATIVITY & COMMUNITY

“WE WANT TO TAKE THIS TO YOUR AREA ~ TODAY WE’RE AT THIS PLACE IN CONJUNCTION WITH ____”

COMMUNITY CAN BE LIKE A GARDEN

OUTREACH

PEACEMAKER ALLIANCE

COHESIVE GROUP OF PEOPLE ~ POETRY COUNCIL

AFFECT INDIVIDUALS: GO DO THE POETRY, GO OUT THERE AND SPIT SOMEWHERE

REVEREND BILLY, PERFORMANCE ARTIST

U.S. SOCIAL FORUM IN DETROIT, WORLD SOCIAL FORUM

DETROIT URBAN GARDEN COMMUNITY

RON SCOTT, BOGG CENTER

COMMUNITY RELATIONS BOARD OF CLEVELAND

ALLIED MEDIA CONFERENCE DETROIT

“TRANSFORMATIVE SOCIAL CHANGE DISCUSSION”

SCATTEREDNESS, BUT HAPPY, OPTIMISTIC, CHILDREN BIGGEST CONCERN

EDUCATION

HOW DO WE GET PPL ENGAGED B4 PROBLEMS HAPPEN, 2 STOP PROBLEMS?

“ME & YOU”

PRINCIPLES, PEOPLE WITH PRINCIPLES OF ENGAGEMENT

UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE

GETTING ENGAGED

LEARNING ABOUT PEOPLE

CARING

THE VALUE OF TEACHING & ARTICULATING

TRUTH

BEING MORE CIVIL

REMEMBERING OLD VALUES AND REAPPLYING TO NEW CONTEXTS

~ Lady

 

 
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