So, I’ve got this photo up on my laptop and whenever I need cheered up, I can just open it and look at it and know immediately that I’ve had an excellent support system for all my life.
Grandma is no longer animating her body, it’s in the ground. I can’t really say that that’s not part of her, because I believe the material world is very much a part of the spiritual world, that the material world is the immediate aspect of the spiritual world.
The body will return to the soil eventually, and some kind of recycling will go on. More life will be made out of her life. More life is being made right now out of her old life. Even this base physical fact can be seen in a very spiritual, moving way.
And Grandma is not just that body in the ground. Grandma is part of everything. Even just sitting here beside me on my couch, I could see how entangled she was/is with The All. She’d fall asleep and my Internet connection would go out–she was that entangled. Out of curiosity, I woke her back up, and the Internet connection came back up.
I think Grandma’s immediate forcefield encompassed much of northeast Ohio, if not the U.S., if not the Universe.
It was tight and heavy and worried at the end of her body-life. She suffered a little bit mentally. She couldn’t hear very well, and the last couple weeks in her body-life she thought someone had said that she was evil because she was Jewish. I find it hard to believe that someone would’ve told her that–I must believe that she was mistaken.
So she’d have episodes the last couple years of her body-life that were kind of like this, worried at times. Or alternately, she’d be ecstatic.
Fortunately for much of the time I experienced her, she was ecstatic.
I feel a lightening across northeast Ohio, that her worry bound body is now released and maybe she’s just experiencing bliss now. I sure hope so. And I’ve gotta believe that her influence–some of the information carried in her–penetrated more than just her bodily area, and is still carried in the environment. I think this is how soul and identity can work past body death, physically. She was/is just so entangled.
I’ve got Smith as my immediate support system now, and the rest of my family and friends. And myself more, now. And Mandy. But I look at that picture of Grandma and Grandpa and know that they loved me (love me?) not only because I was a part of their family, but because I was a child. They would have loved me even were I not part of their family; they were/are extremely generous, especially when they were middle-aged and adopted several children. And Grandma made sure to have any little kid who came into her presence feel all the attention of the center of the world.
I feel very much that Grandpa especially is cognizant as a spirit and has retained much of his earth-body identity. He visited me in my sleep a couple nights ago. It was the longest dream with him I can remember. He talked with me and made me a meal, tea and soup. I looked at the tea for a while–Red Rose brand. So much detail and color.
He also fed me some grass. He bought a bunch of grass from a waitress and had me eat half of it. Then he said to the waitress, “Here, you take this and use it.” But she just took it and put it back in the cupboard for the next customer.
Grandpa got a bit assertive, really wanting the waitress to have that grass for herself. He got up and went towards the cupboard, but I intercepted him and we danced and hugged for a while.
I wonder at the symbolism of it in all of its nooks and crannies. I figure he is telling me that he is feeding the grass, now, that his body and grandma’s body are feeding the grass. But why have us eat it? Is there some hay to be made from the cycle of life? Is that what he’s telling me? Maybe to make sure I get all I can get from it? I hope I can see them both again soon in my dreams. I relish that he fed and tended to me.