...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists, photographers & adventurers.
Our relationship was forged to the soundtrack of Yoko Ono's magic,
frenetic, love-laden song, "Walking On Thin Ice." ( play song )
Archive for the ‘Lady’ Category
Tuesday, March 21st, 2017
Status Report 253
Walking on egg shells
My companion faces equation
but I have no numbers
and cannot do the math.
Our quest lies in questions
that do not know answers.
As if answers exist.
and am loved
yet may lose
though I’ve gained.
– Smith, 3.21.2017
Monday, March 6th, 2017
Lady K had a cat scan today to see if her eye cancer had spread. It tends to spread to and from the liver and lungs.
Her liver is clean, and they found a couple small spots in her lungs which they say are probably benign and nothing to worry about, but which they will keep an eye on just in case – and if it is cancer, it’s early enough to stop it before it gets started.
So essentially this is as positive a prognosis as one could hope for, especially since her eye tumor is a rare type of cancer (perhaps 2.5 cases in a million) and is aggressive.
So Friday they are going to partially pop out her eyeball, sew a small curved radioactive bead containing 21 radioactive seeds to the rear left side of her left eye, pop her eyeball back in, sew the conjunctiva closed (the mucous membrane that covers the front of the eye and lines the inside of the eyelids) and keep her isolated in a hospital room for three nights, then remove the radioactive bead Monday morning and send her home.
At some point in the next three weeks, the stitches will dissolve and her eye will open again. She’ll wear an eye patch until then.
Doc says her prognosis for killing the tumor is 95-97%. Since there’s no known cancer elsewhere, her outlook is good, and they’ll keep monitoring her monthly for 6 months then yearly through five years to see if it springs up elsewhere.
It’s lousy to get cancer, but since she has it, this is as good an initial prognosis as possible.
This will make two cancer survivors in our family. We did lose a third family member to intestinal cancer – our cat Mandy.
future hope – Lady’s 7 month-old niece Liberty Lynn Green
Tuesday, February 28th, 2017
On Learning Wife has Eye Cancer
Brown trees barren
Blue sky bleached
Gasp in breach
– Smith, 2.28.2017
Thursday, February 23rd, 2017
Lady cut her hair pixie short yesterday, it had hung below her shoulders.
She did it to break the mental/emotional gloom brought on by discovering two days ago she had eye cancer, and that in 15 days the doctors are going to sew a radioactive pellet to her eyeball for three days to kill the tumor without mushing her mind.
Her online research found a 30-50% mortality rate over 10 years (much of that in the first year), so odds favor us 50-70%.
Her doctor said sewing a radioactive pellet to her eye for three days gets rid of the tumor 94% of the time. The 30-50% mortality rate comes from the cancer having spread to or from the eye, so they’re going to give her a cat scan to see if it’s anywhere else.
My being 27 years older, she’s always worried about outliving me, but now the shoe’s reversed.
She had long hair when we took up in 2005, but when we began traveling for 31 months, she kept cutting it a little shorter each time we got to a new country because long hair and living out of a backpack in foreign lands is a burden, and finally in southern France she cut it pixie short, which has always been my personal favorite of her endless permutations.
Speaking of endless permutations, check out this 70-foto montage of Lady’s looks from 1976-2007 >>> http://agentofchaos.com/lady06.html.
Status Report 251
No poem today
My brain is fried
Too much grim
Yet hope remains
It will go good
Roll rock up hill
Of endless could
– Smith, 2.23.2017
Lady K’s mugshots 1976-2007
Tuesday, February 21st, 2017
Lady K has a medium sized cancerous melanoma in her left eye. In 17 days, they’re going to sew a small radioactive pellet into her eye, keep her in the hospital for 3 days, then remove it. This could solve the problem.
Only two options with this cancer is radiation or removal of eye, and they recommended radiation, which is effective 94% of the time.
Since radiation can also harm the eye’s vision, there’s a 10-15% chance she could lose sight in that eye in the next 2-5 years, which means 85-90% chance she won’t.
They’ll do a biopsy to see how aggressive the cancer is. If it’s type 1 which only moves from eye to liver, they’ll monitor her liver every 6 months for awhile, and if it’s type 2, they’ll monitor her more aggressively.
This will make two cancer survivors in our two-human family. We lost our cat to cancer.
The world cannot pump this many corporate toxins into the air, food chain, and water and not mess up the bio fluxflow.
Sermon of the Mote
Fear lurks in the bushes
rustles mind’s maybe
robs eye’s line
Flower pluck song long
when draped in gray
and gauze of gaze
Loss of lens reduces focus
I soul lies in eye
– Smith, 2.21.2017
Monday, February 20th, 2017
Conversation with Wife 33
On possible cancer in her eye, she sez:
Well, this is going to be interesting.
I have a tumor in my eyeball!
If they have to treat my eye with enucleation,
I want a cat’s eye prosthesis!
What did the clavicle say to the breast bone?
Why did the eyeball laugh at her tumor?
Because she was in on the in-sight joke.
Q: “What’s a tumor?”
A: “A massive inconvenience.”
– Lady & Smith, 2.20.2017
Lady was told Friday she has a large mass in her left eye. Have a Cleveland Clinic appointment tomorrow with Dr Singh, whom we are told may be the world’s top doc for eye tumors.
Not enough data and too many possibilities to dwell on – some benign, some nasty – so must await more data.
Scary. Yet Lady K’s taking it well – on the surface at least what with her joking, but I can see the stress creeping into her. I’ve been there too many times and know how inner worry quietly alters outer perception.
Could be cancer, could be not, could be surgery, could be not, could be lost eye, could be not, but the dark side of the prognosis research is grim.
Whatever – we’ll deal with it. She’s my sweetie.
Here are the doctor’s serious sounding notes:
1. Large ciliary body mass OS:
Small area of bleeding into posterior chamber.
On gonio exam (after dilation) small area of bleed inferior temporally – mass appears to be invading anteriorly as well.
Concern for iris melanoma.
Discussed patient with ocular tumor fellow.
Critical changes in the same quadrant.
Small notch in lens in same quadrant as the mass – lens coloboma?
3. Vit heme:
Small not affecting vision.
A more-than-possible cause is her cell fone. A Swedish study I read 11 years ago in Croatia found a high correlation between cell fone use and head tumors over the previous 20 years in major cities. But the coup de grâce was the rural statistics – since users are farther from the towers, the transmitting power inside the fone is turned up to reach them, and the higher fone power caused greatly increased tumor growth versus the lower-powered city fones, which in turn saw more tumors than before cell fone use.
Her in the US they keep saying the cell fone tumor studies are inconclusive, there’s nothing to be concerned about, we need more studies – but that’s bullcrap… according to the studies, cell fones almost certainly cause tumors and nothing can be done about it because mobile fones have became an essential part of world commerce and we can’t go back. So once again corporations are killing customers for profit. Gotta love capitalism.
Saturday, February 11th, 2017
Poet artist musician curator Shawn Mishak wrote a bone recovery poem for my neckbone surgery.
Poem for dem Bones
(for Steven Smith)
Rebel poet, regarded lover
Teen pranks lead to vast inequities
Child boy sacrifices mother
Learns how to properly extract sliver
Art crime felonies
Scream under a cinder block
Cracks until two and no longer one
A physical mixture
Tall and stretched out like exotic bird
Flaps until broken
Get better; heal in the sunlight as the skin floats
As the cat whispers her purr in the lovely corner
Finding that warm spot
For the next careful climb
Drink of the savory vine
Mine the vein and never
Say that I told you so…]
– Shawn Mishak, 1.28.17
This Saturday, February 18, 2017, 3-5pm, Lady K’s hosting her 3rd Annual Open Memoir Reading at Mac’s Backs-Books On Coventry, 1820 Coventry Rd, Cleveland Heights, Ohio 44118.
This reading is in honor of her Grandfather who died in 2006… Lady is re-editing his memoir Learning to Swim which she published in 2012 – https://www.createspace.com/3945123
Heading for Worry War III
what with the orange virus
and small hands on large levers
in the White House
bullies bellow loud in the land
but I don’t worry
cuz edamame ain’t got no daddy
and Only the Lonely is ever so lovely
in the season of the song
so welcome on in from the dark
to our corner of the arc
and sit a spell
light is low
but warm and real
for flowing flux
depends on being kind
– Smith, 2.11.2017
Monday, January 23rd, 2017
Life with Wife 4
She dumps four cups worth of coffee
into the boiling water pan
to make two cups
We sit and sip, unmoving
doing the wild coffee dance
– Smith, 1.23.2017
Wednesday, January 4th, 2017
Conversation with Wife 32
“Why did the French man leave the beaten path?”
You gettin’ up?
Good, I’m taking your spot of heat in bed.
“You a thermofile?”
No, I’m more of a thermofolder.
My first pun of the day…
You’re putting sugar in your coffee
“Why not, it’s New Year’s day.”
But I offered sugar this morning
and you said no.
“I have my whims.”
“My whims, my whims, my whims.”
Is that why you’re called women?
Are your nail-polished toes going to show?
So they’re no show toes
I used to hunt noshotos in Japan
on the island
around the base of that big mountain
Rubbing the bristles on my cheek,
I tell Lady, you know, I’m part werewolf…
though not werewolf exactly-
more their distant cousins, the waswolves.
– Smith, 1.4.2017
Tuesday, December 27th, 2016
Lady K’s become the Cake Lady.
She made an antique book cake for Michael O’Brien’s bookstore closing a week ago.
And for Christmas she made an upside down sweet onion cornbread savory cake.
And same day (it took her three days of making fondant reindeer and magic mushrooms and Christmas trees, plus the white chocolate birch bark) she made a gingerbread cake (which included Guinness Stout as an ingredient) with whipping cream & mascarpone cheese icing, surrounded by white & dark chocolate birch bark topped by a scene of trees, magic mushrooms, and a reindeer of homemade fondant.
Then she made a fondant bull because she gives one family member a homemade bull each Christmas to inspire financial success in the coming year.
I’ll be putting up an agentofchaos page documenting all this in a few weeks, but here’s a taste of her Christmas baking.