...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists, photographers & adventurers.
Our relationship was forged to the soundtrack of Yoko Ono's magic,
frenetic, love-laden song, "Walking On Thin Ice." ( play song )
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Saw for the second time one of my favorite film noirs – The Lady from Shanghai starring Orson Welles and his estranged wife Rita Hayworth. The 1947 film was written, produced and directed by Welles as well.
I shot these stills from my laptop monitor of the film’s finale which is a shootout in a fun house and hall of mirrors. This is the most surreal American film I’ve seen, and my favorite Orson Welles film as well, although I do dearly love A Touch of Evil, 1958 — what a change from the thin slim handsome Welles of 1947 to the at least 100 pounds heavier Welles in the 1958 film.
I’d love to see Welles’ original version because the film’s release was delayed due to heavy editing by Columbia Pictures president Harry Cohn, who insisted on cutting about an hour from Welles’s final cut.
stills from The Lady from Shanghai – fotos by Smith
Ponytails were killing us. My most excellent friend & I are solving the problems of the universe. The most excellent show maybe ever–”Red Dwarf…”
On Friday, the Red Dwarf ran into the Squid of Despair, a giant squid. The cast and crew discovered that everything is a giant, mass hallucination, that we’ve all been playing parts for four years in a GIANT VIRTUAL VIDEO GAME.
SO, now they find out who they REALLY are–and THAT’s the DESPAIR–the despair was that they found out who they really were…
AND, right when they were about to KILL themselves, all cast members lined up, four in a row with one bullet–the ship’s computer finally got to a high enough FREQUENCY where they could HEAR and save them.
Oy.
So.
Friends, we suggest that we buy each other’s organically grown sustainable smoothie very expensive cakes and artisanal food, get frequent behive hairdos, sans hair dye, at the beauty salons where the hairdressers are paid magnificently and enjoy their work. Exercise classes and spas. Sustainable capitalism–it’s a plan.
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I suggest free education for everyone, or paid education, whatever works. And a career of anyone’s choice. Some people have to go to school longer for their careers. Those people should be paid a wee bit more. OK, incentive. But not ridiculous incentive. I’m thinking: sliding scale speeding tickets, like the ones they have in Sweden. Getting rid of tax loopholes and offshore accounts. Staying local. Stopping all this weird international shipping except for cruise ships to one anothers continents. In the basements of the cruise ships, we could carry very expensive, fine cheese and the spices and coffee of the world. Gigantic, energy efficient cruise ships. Free energy? What was that thing Tesla was talking about? Hope it works. I would like to beam myself to the North and South pole if possible, and Japan. Coffee crops as well. I really like coffee from fair wage growers whose wages must grow more excellent.
Keeping the inheritance ‘stuff’ within reason, but making sure these rich people work doing art/music/artisanal food or whatever tickles their fancy and stimulates the economy in a sustainable way.
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Primed the pump last night and bought some local, organic food. Sharpened our old knives for only $12. Hope he charges more next time. Hope the family business has more business coming in–we are an overtly ethical business. Hope our book projects take off. I know all this will happen. I just, know… it.
Precedent kathy’s economic stimulus package – a prescription for today & possibly the future (albeit with tweaking and optimization):
1. If you happen to be near a flower shop, I hear the bees are expecting food next year and so buy a flower, think of a bee, and if you are wealthy, buy flowers for your entire house. I hear they are going to flower forever and ever.
2. I hear the bees have been heard of as ‘unhealthy’ in an outdated narrative, but I’ve recently heard an update on this information: there are some 15 or so new species of bees. I hope they are very good, sturdy, happy little pollinators and that they somehow magically know how to find their ways back to the hives. I anticipate that we shall eat fruit, good fruit, from now until the foreseeable future. I COMMAND IT SO. And the fruit will be wildly and widely available for maws of mass consumption, and will be very healthy and beneficial for the maws of mass consumption.
So, I command you to start eating 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day (if you have the money for it and if it is available in your region. I hear most regions do have enough food. I would like to assume so. If not, I COMMAND IT SO.)
Of the grocery stores, et cetera: I really don’t understand how a couple of red peppers can really equal the life of a chicken. How can this situation be changed so that healthy food is subsidized? GOVERNMENT: I COMMAND YOU TO START SUBSIDIZING HEALTHY FOOD FOR PEOPLE.
3. Cellphones used to have a ‘bad’ reputation. I hear that they are now in collaboration with our needs, and nature’s needs. Thank you, cellphones! We love you!
4. I hear more and more Republicans are finding that they really were right, after all, that they are decent human beings who put their mouths where their money is in terms of helping the poor with churches, in stimulating the economy ethically so that people can buy more locally-made, hand-made goods – this is my vision for the near future. This is my economic stimulus plan.
5. The rich people will dine on the most succulent, juicy, well-marbled grass-fed beef, served to them by wonderfully paid and happy craftspeople who work with food.
6. McDonald’s and its ilk will start serving healthy, inexpensive, wonderfully-tasting food, and will pay its workers very well, a living wage that will meet and exceed its collaborators expectations, 32 hours per week with full benefits and pension plans in reparation for the history of the business’s exploitation of its workers and environment. In turn, the workers will become very faithful advocates of McDonald’s (and its ilk). And their high wages and high health will help stimulate the local economies.
So, on some days, a person of moderate wealth might find that he/she would like to eat at McDonald’s or its ilk, and other days, at an expensive smoothie bar or expensive restaurant or vegetarian restaurant (I hear they are becoming quite popular.)
7. Artists: Did you know that anyone can become an artist? Sure, some of us are misunderstood, but–get this–in a civilized society with lots of cash flow, the rich people buy lots of art. They buy personalized items for lots of money, and so do we. We are rich people! Did you know that? All of us are rich.
We might not have the actual cash money in our bank accounts right this second–but I hear it’s coming! Has to do with that hand-crafted, ethically-produced stimulation thing. Yowzers.
8. Poets: Why are you giving away God’s words for free? You are so good. Buy each others books. I command thee. I command more people to start appreciating poetry–people who might not necessarily write poetry, but suddenly find that, wow, what a goldmine of nuance and love and reverence for life there is in those darned poets! BORDERS BOOK STORE: I command you to buy books from local poets in consultation with the people who know best–like Suzanne from Macs.
INDEPENDENT BOOK STORES: You are lovers of hand-crafted zines, recycled and reowned books, fine coffee environments, tee, pastries, plants, atmosphere, music, fine wine, et cetera. IN MY ECONOMIC STIMULUS PLAN FOR YOU, YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LOSING BUSINESS, ONLY GAINING IT!
9. Back to the bees. I hear monoculture crops weren’t such a good idea. I’m glad they’re realizing now that they need to employ beekeepers for the local areas, and that most of the year (maybe?) the bees need to eat organic, varied, wonderful, varieties of food. Perhaps a patch of this food with a local beekeeper could be employed in every area that needs one? And that the use of pesticides is suddenly found to not be necessary, or that somehow, it is in coordination with the health needs of pollinating insects? Seems like local beekeepers would be a good jobs program to me.
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I imagine that this plan will require some tweaking, but it sounds like a good start and good vision to me. What do you all think?
1. The happiest, most ethical universe for me & Smith & Mandycat, together. 1a. Fame & crazy riches for Smith. 2. The happiest, most ethical universe(s) for all other perceiving entities. 2a. The mass realization that we are all one. 2b. Happy reunions for all families. 3. Reversal of global warming, or alternatively, sudden weird, scientific knowledge that global warming is a myth. 4. Sustainable, ethical farming practices on a mass scale. 5. Benevolent alien benefactors. Since I’m asking, heck, why not? And I’d like them to take me, Smith & Mandycat around in their spaceship for a while. 6. Riches. Why not? Or at least, that I don’t have to worry about money & that we can travel, have a bathtub, clean sheets & a comfortable couch, warmth in the winter and coolness in the summer, keep Mandycat happy, keep this apartment in Cleveland. 7. I’d like us to see Alaska, Japan, Chile, Peru, Nepal, Thailand and other places. It would be really really awesome if we could go to the North and South Poles to see the northern and southern lights. I’d like my family and friends to be able to travel to far flung places as well. 7a. Since I’m asking–it would be really cool if teleporter technology could be used to do this traveling. 8. Cell phones that operate on a level such as to not disturb bee navigation, and safety of the bees. I want fruit to be massively affordable & available to everyone on the planet, perpetually. I would like everyone to eat 5 servings of raw fruits/vegetables daily. 9. Elimination of illness via mass mindset. 10. Pharmaceuticals and health care to be provided for everyone for free if needed. Good health for everyone. No pain unless it is good pain. 11. A partially managed, world-wide economy that offers a minimum good standard of living for everyone regardless of perpetration or circumstance. 12. Cybernetic implants that make use of the brain while one is sleeping to carry out work tasks on the Internet. And google for the brain. I’d like this to be available & provided free to everyone without ill effects, but not make it mandatory. 13. Constant discovery/enjoyment/acclaim unless one is exhausted from the discovery/enjoyment/acclaim and needs to rest a while. 13a. I’d like to have that wire thingy or some such thing inserted into my brain so that I can stimulate my pleasure centers whenever I want, but I don’t want it to be addictive. 14. A worry-free existence for everyone. 15. I would like to be a Buddha or some type of thing like that. That would be most excellent. 16. I’d like Smith’s books and Wendy’s book to become globally famous in our lifetimes. I’d like for everyone else to have this opportunity as well, but especially Smith & Wendy. 17. I’d like Wendy’s cat situation to be happily solved. 18. A reliable, inexpensive used car for Anna. Or a free new one! 19. I’d like for torture to be stopped, period. I’d like the drug war ended. I’d like jails to return to non-profit government-run organizations, or better yet, for us to not need jails at all. 20. No more war, occupation, or killing. No more guns or nuclear bombs unless the bombs are used to detroy asteroids on course to hit the planet or some such thing. 21. Free, massively available, non-polluting energy. 22. Happy leisure and happy work for everyone. 23. Legalization of marijuana, happy LSD trips, etc. Decriminalization of drugs. 24. I’d like to become a film maker of miracles, and for my films to be famous. Writing some acclaimed ‘holy’ books would be cool as well. It would be most excellent if all my thoughts could just be, like, recorded instantaneously, you know? And then output into cool consumables for the culture. 25. No more fear. 26. Cool, far out, trippy special effects in reality for everyone who can handle them. 27. Magic carpet rides & the like. Invisible jets. Weird lassos. 28. Whatever else I’d like if it seems like it would be good for the above goals without hurting anyone. No subconscious vendetta wish granting. No ‘gotcha’ fine print caveats. 29. It would be really cool if there could be, like, no more cancer, heart disease, diabetes, alzheimer’s and arthritis. 30. What would be really really cool is if all this could like, be suddenly implemented or like, get rolling so that everyone can start enjoying immediate dividends. Anyways, this is my wishlist, so it carries my best intent–and it would be like, really cool, you know? 31. I’d like for the family business to be successful, but not at the expense of my family’s peace. I’d prefer to work, say, 10 hours per week, 20 at most. Yet I want the business to succeed. Or better yet, Smith would win the lottery or some such thing like that would happen and we all wouldn’t need to work. Although I think it’s fun to work with family. Ifn indeed we do need to work for like, the maximum happiness for all of us, I want us all to be clearheaded and successful at work tasks. I would prefer to just focus on things I like to do, as I like to do them, without having to worry too much about logistics. I’d like to strategize without anxiety. 32. I’d like to make art occasionally but I don’t want to feel anxious about it. 33. I’d like to have lots of worry-free time with Smith. 34. I’d like to be able to perform miracles & have magical powers, especially flying.
O, yeah, I almost forgot. It would be really really cool if all this happened in my ‘apparent specific continuously-experienced universe’ so that the clump of consciousness formerly known as myself can experience all this.
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Addendum: Since I’m ordering a new reality, I’d like to mention that I am really tired of plucking out facial hair and shaving my legs and underarms. I’d like that hair to stop growing. I’d like for my entire head of hair to turn silver ASAP rather than two-toned. I’d like for my eyebrows to remain brown, though. And I’d like to weigh, oh, in the 110 – 135 lb. range. I want to appear weirdly young for my age–like when I’m 60, I want to look 35. And when I’m seventy, in my 40s. I’d also like to get rid of my cellulite & excess skin. Thanks, reality!
When we worry, we’re trying to grab onto the theoretical sinking anchors of the future, and we’re trying to pinpoint everything, match the wheel of our mind against the wheel of the universe. But actually, we are *not* matching the wheel of the universe if we’re not living in the now.
