today’s email from cleveland amy concerning my blog this morning about my dream last night in which masumi appeared:
Steve,
I don’t know if you’ve been told yet, but Masumi was killed in her apartment last night by another tenant in the building, a 19-year-old guy. The artist John Jackson was also killed–he lived in the same building. I don’t know any more information. Both Masumi and John had been complaining about the guy playing his music too loud.
I read your blog about your death dream in which your “Japanese ex” appears, and thought it was eerily appropriate.
Hello to Kathy and hope all is well on your travels.
Amy
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my reply to cleveland amy:
amy – i had no idea whatsoever… when i first wrote the blog this morning, i used masumi’s actual name… then thot that would be rude, ungentlemanly – unfair to her, so i changed it to “my japanese ex” to be polite.
this is seriously spooky. do you know what time this happened – because my dream was between 6 and 8 this morning which would make it between 1 and 3 last night your time.
no way can this be a coincidence. . . has to prove something because i never think of masumi unless folk ask me why i quit dating for 20 years until kathy came along.
in the dream i thot the cream-skinned lady could be kathy.
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today’s email from west virginia steve:
Interesting dream. Carl Jung would have loved having you on the sofa for an hour — many archetypal symbols:
Mother
Dwarf
party (celebration)
beautiful young woman
fire
hole
fireworks
I read it 3 times — here’s my take:
Mer Jam (Kathy) loves you for your innate kindness, and she “points” out to you that the world is open for you to explore because everything that held you in the past is now vanished. Mom is dead; home is burned (condo — place of “rest” — is gone). So she takes you “through the hole” — your current journey into the unknown. The “fireworks” is metaphoric for the passion you experienced when you first realized how much you loved her.
The only troubling part of the dream has to do with Masumi’s return and, more importantly, Mer Jam’s departure. It may be that if you meditate on that, you may learn something about your own subconscious fears.
Enough armchair psychology.
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my reply to west virginia steve:
steve – you say the part in the dream about masumi bothers you … read this freaky email from amy i just now read… this is the first verifiable psychic experience i can prove cuz no way at between 6 and 8 this morning london time (1 to 3 a.m. cleveland time) could i have in any way known of this. and i’ve never dreamed of masumi before.
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west virginia steve’s email reply to my reply:
This is seriously unsettling. First of all, a talented (but difficult) artist is murdered by a pathetic loser, so no matter what one may think of her personality, it is terrible. I know you feel exactly the same way. And then there is the dream — an impossible coincidence. To me, it does confirm yet again the existence of an afterlife spirit, and yet again, the mystery deepens. FYI, the information is on the home page of Cleveland.com Very, very sad.
Kathy and Steve-
i’ve been following your adventures since you began sharing them
wanting to reply
figuring out how to log into blogland,
i can write now
sending love your way
So happy for your intermingling roving roots
as Wannabeasmilth says (in paraphrase)
our vicarious growth accompanies you
it’s raining in our house today
it only rained inside here once before.
tears for Masumi and for John, we think
finding their way through the sands
yeilding
WeVa Steve’s dream analysis
Clev Amy’s letter
sleeping and waking worlds merge
to glimpse each other now and then
in periphery usually
but sometimes full-on.
if we’re lucky a cat will bite us on our toe
like a rap on the back
to wake us into knowing
a series of raps –
Rapid fire rapping
The wrapper thrown away reveals raw unwrapped today
entered for poet-ick jack because his words won’t wire over the internet comment link …
Hey Smith
Psychic experience is not unusual. Recognizing it is unusual. It takes something like Masumi’s death (how sad, how useless, she has to die to uncover a madman) to get your attention, maybe, but psychic experience is the norm for all of us. Most of us keep it quiet, don’t want to embarass ourselves. Some of us turn it into organized religion–that’s where THEY all come from. Some of use it to make money, start reading tea leaves, seeing virgins on rusty silos. When it gets perverted it can be really dangerous (9/11). But it’s always there and once we start paying attention it makes our lives much, much, much, much better. You are doing it now, you are on your big adventure, you’ve found Lewisham. You think that’s a coincidence? It didn’t come from nowhere. You’ll gravitate to all the Tremonts and Coventrys in all the places you go. You’re called there, you know those places, they are who/what you are. You can see them waiting for you. They are on the other side of the Dwarf-Mother sized hole you went through.
I like your creed (You don’t want to be hurt, don’t hurt anyone. . .) I’d add one to it. When it IS done to you, forgive the doer, don’t retaliate, don’t get mad OR even (I never got mad I always got even) forgive. Ghandi did it, so they say–signaled his forgiveness to his assassin as he was falling dead. That’s who I want to be. I’m not there yet but on the way. (Four steps to forgiveness, I can’t, I want to, I’m on my way, I do) It isn’t instinctive for me like it was for Ghandi, but if I keep trying it will be someday. You’re on your way too–maybe there already. Whattayathink?
Peace and Blessings
my answer to his comment …..
you’re right about that last part – forgive, forget, and no matter what is done to you, don’t waste your time trying to get even.
unfortunately for me, i’m nowhere near that last part. i forgive easily (we’re all weak, and it would be foolish not to forgive weakness in others when you can see it ooze so easliy from yourself), but i never forget – and i too way often get even. i’m a really nice guy mean bastard. sometimes i despair of ever seeing the light.
i’ve always had psychic experiences – just could never prove one before masumi’s dream ghost appearance. i talk and joke and play with whatever ‘reality’ is, and it does the same to me. i’ve felt for the past 30-some years i was an empath – can feel how people feel within, no matter what they show on the surface … that’s why sundays were always better for me cuz folk were more quiet inside.
i think if someone assassinated me like they did ghandi, i’d thank them for easing me from this side to the next. at least my job here would be done. maybe they have decent retirement benefits on the other side – the next may be nothing, the next may be everything … all i know is this side is suffering. even with the joy of kathy in my life, there’s something within missing in me, like i’m not quite humanized. i can’t truly be happy when others suffer … and that basically seems to be what they do.
my quandry is that old zen goal (i learned from an episode of the sopranos) of finding a way of living happy in an unhappy world.
on the good foot – reality has always been kind to me. the not-to-worry-cuz-the-birds-of-the-air-are-fed-and-the-lilies-of-the-field-are-clothed thing is true in my life. hell, i even sat home as a hermit refusing human interaction and yet kathy goldiloxed her way into my life anyway. i’ve had a magic, interactive life with reality – and i believe that will continue on kathy & my adventures here … counting on it actually because otherwise this all would be just too scary. we’re off the edge. no roadmap, no how-to books for what we’re doing. kathy likens us to the spiders who fall to float to get to the other side… they fall in the faith the wind will push them to the other side where they can attach their thread – if they fail, they climb back up and fall again and again and again until they reach the other side. sounds sorta like life, don’t it.
thnx for the message. i can see your face and hear your voice saying your emailed message. you are one dude i would have liked to know more. maybe that’s what these emails are.
on the ego side, michael heaton wrote saying his friday! plain dealer column this week will be about kathy and i – sez we’ll laugh our asses off. old ego’s been doing pretty good – that’ll make 3 plain dealer, 2 free times and 1 northern ohio live articles this year. if i’m so good, so famous, how come i’m losing $3,500 of the $4,000 it cost to publish the last artcrimes?
whatever god is, she sure has a serious sense of humor.
seize you on the downsize.
his answer to my answer ….
said forgive, I didn’t say forget. You can’t forget. Once it happens to you it’s in there with all the other happenings swirling around all the way back to the womb, making you do things you don’t want to do, don’t know why you do, can’t jkeep yourself from doing sometimes. SO what do you do with that? The same thing, you forgive–you forgive yourself for all the stupid, selfish, hurtful, revengeful things you’ve done. You can’t forget them, you can give yourself a little credit for being human. You’re allowed that. You said “It would be foolish not to forgive weakness in others when you can see it ooze so easily from yourself.” How right you are! But it is just as foolish not to forgive yourself for the same things. It’s called learning to love yourself. We all take credit for the bad stuff we do and sometimes let it lead us to do more bad stuff just to prove how right we are about how bad we are. Hardly ever take credit for the good stuff we do, which, by the way, far outweighs the bad stuff even if we may not be TRYING to do any good stuff.
It’s like your spider on his little string of spit, hanging there waiting for a breeze. He believes in himself and he believes in the breeze. When no breeze comes, he doesn’t quit and try to become a cricket, he keeps on being a spider and it pays off for him because he is doing what he was made to do–be a spider. I try to learn good things from the bad things I do which is another reason why I can’t forget. So forget forget. Do the forgive part and not forgetting will help you get it right the next time, or maybe the time after that.
Peace and Blessings