You know they could put little tracking devices in the bees. We could have science make little GPS tracking devices, install one in each bee. That way each bee could find its way back to the hive.

Or, you know what? We could make some really tiny little cell phones and sell them to the bees, since cell phones may have started all this problem.

“How would cell phones help?”

They wouldn’t. That’s what caused the problem. There’re several likely culprits. There’s cell phones, there’s radiation, there’s the genetic modified Frankenfood problem, and there’s the stress problem. They’re moving these hives all over the country to pollinate. And these bees hives are constantly moved. Having moved 31 times in the last nine months, I find I have my own trouble getting back to the hive.

Plus there could be another culprit. There’s more and more cable being jammed through the air, satellite and such.

And the real problem – they don’t teach the birds and the bees no more in school. People no longer know which side their bee is buttered on.

“That’s weird, honey.”

Well, it’s none of your ‘beeswax.’ I wonder where *that* expression came from…

“So I still don’t understand why you’d want to give little cell phones to bees. Wouldn’t that make the problem worse?”

Yes. The cell phones would make it worse. I’m a mean person. It’s the absurdity of it.

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