AD.


lady’s art alter – foto by smith

Answers

New morning light
On yesterday’s shadow

lady’s stopped taking her morning antipsychotic medicine because it makes her feel tired, sluggish, foggy. she still takes the night dose so she can sleep. this regime seems to be working for her – she’s creating books and websites like mad, yet still operates within parameters we can communicate from. she’s still a mite manic, still searching for higher planes of reality, but that’s a plane we all need to search more for.

i had a minor epiphany about my current inner malaise.

before lady, i didn’t care. i knew the world was bad getting worse, but it didn’t matter because i’d had a full life in which i’d created a body of art & poetry, published a slew of others in 20 years of artcrimes, and had lived an interesting life outside the barcodes. those i loved or cared about were either dead or self sufficient, so the world’s darkness didn’t much matter to me. i observed it and railed against it and used it to fuel my creativity, but knew i couldn’t stop it and that the madness was going to get worse.

then lady entered my life. the human world was still a massive pool of dark unhappiness and unfairness hell-bent on self-destruction, but the we of she and me created a magic bubble of light in which we moved and lived. we brightened the darkness wherever we were and shared our light with others still seeking.

but with lady’s breakdown, outer dark entered and dimmed our fairytale world. i thought we were safe within our self-created bubble – but no one is ever safe in this world. dealing with this has depleted my inner system of self-happiness adjustments. i have to recalibrate my mind to refill my normal pools of hope and joy.

so now it’s a question of re-creating our own world, rebuilding our own levees after the storm, so to speak. which we will, because we’re an authentic bio unit duo bonded one to the other no matter what. for better or worse, we are one.


in between – foto by smith

2 Responses

  1. Beautiful post. Going back to the theme of a healthy successful relationship, not only is the time spent apart a benchmark but also the manner and ability of dealing with adversity. Which will always arise. (anothetr pop psychology moment)

    I fear that the the free love 60’s bred a little too much – gee take off and look for something better, rather than doing the actual work of a relationship.

    Without the work, a realtionship is really just sleeping together . . . not much of a relationship at all.

    The higher planes are always calling. Great when we can effectively meet with them.

    I was around (weekly) when lady appeared at your home . . .wonderful to have witnessed some of the changes you refernced above.

    Glad to read the updates . .keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. I agree, very very good post to read.

    (Personally, being mired back in the falseness, greed and utter pettiness of academic employment has me unsure if I am still self-sufficient, or dead. Sorry not reading or blogging much these daze…good to pop in and find these thoughts tho).

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