long night of the web-toed

the 2 of us – foto by smith

Went to bed at 11. Woke in the dark and listened to my various body pains and looked toward the hallucinogenic white time light fuzzed by my bad vision – it looks like a monster or demon or bottle until I squeeze my eyes just right and see it is 1:11. Get up, relieve myself, toke, go back to bed.

Wake up, see 3:33 shimmering at me. Get up, toke, go to bed.

Wake up, see 4:44. Don’t get up, don’t toke, don’t sleep. Wait for 5:55. Don’t sleep. Wonder what will happen when I see 6:66. See 7:00 instead.

Now it’s morning and I hurt and ache and yawn and wonder why the why. I feel broken, flash on my poem:

Damaged Good

The doubting vessel
Strong, unbroken
Sours water, ruins wine

The damaged vessel
Holds its token
Service, beauty, duty, time

The one excuses
The other uses
Which in fact the finer find

The better bitter
The lesser greater
Truth is action, action prime

Here are some dawn words my woman wrote our 1st Xmas together…

CHRISTMAS GOLEM

Your heart-battered love,
your battering heart,
slow volcano sputters
I live, I love
I live, I love–

After 20 years of quiet nights,
dark nights, just you &
your laughing art–
your shelves accumulating dust,

and now this woman come to
lie down under your dawn,
your dust, this Christmas
morning is with this woman

your fingers wet
her swollen vulva, your
abrasive chin on her
warm freckled skin

your shaved head,
shadowed eye sockets

form of man

       Lady 12.25.2005

couple – foto by smith