AD.


Don’t even bother – foto Smith

One hot July day 2010 after Lady had cut all her hair off and shaved her scalp during one of her paradigm reality shifts, our door buzzed and she went down to answer it. She was gone an inordinate amount of time so I went down to see what was what.

She was talking to two 50-some well-fed women who were trying to convince her to let them come up and read the bible to us.

Lady is 5 foot 5 inches tall . . . the bible women’s eyes widened as they saw me come down, 10 inches taller and 27 years older, also with a shaved head.

They were slow to accept my no and after more spiel our landlord who is the drummer for the math metal band Keelhaul poked his head out the door behind us, curious. He is halfway between Lady and me in both age and height — he has a shaved head and we both have facial hair.

By now the bible ladies are thoroughly confused, confronted by two males and a female of different ages and heights, all with shaved heads, me thinking they’re wondering what kind of cult lives here. They decide to move on to some hair people.

Lately they’ve returned a bit too frequently to ring our landlord’s back bell, and his new wife, a sweet gentle gal just over from Greece, got tired of their constant interruptions and posted a We Worship Satan Don’t Bother Knocking sign on their door . . . t’ain’t true, but it worked.

I’m more live and let live . . . you believe what you need to to get through this life, but I’ve worked out my own lies thank you very much so please no need to stop to slop your beliefs over mine.

After all I’ve managed to get through 67 years so far and have lived extraordinary adventures, which makes me older and more experienced than the door knockers, so I’ll take my operating system over theirs any day of the meek because mine is thoroughly field tested and has gotten me through more scrapes and sticky wickets than most folk ever see.


I no u r but what am I? – foto Smith

One Response

  1. (I commented earlier and the site hung while posting– pardon if it comes thru a repeat…or semi-repeat cuz i cant remember exactly what I wrote)
    Interconnected weirdness:
    This morning’s dream featured me shaving my head and getting a reaction of aghast-ness and I didn’t care. Next, as I often dream, I am trying to find my way somewhere, and I am getting very frustrated as I have lost my phone and my car keys and I am kinda stuck where I am, and along comes Smith and bails me out. (wearing what I thought was a very snappy 40’s type hat kinda like an old-school private detective) And I was relieved to see him. 3 hours later I am reading the above post and saying, hmmmm…smith and headshaving in the airwaves…

    Also I mentioned kudos to your landlord’s wife for her doorbell ringing solution. I didn’t know your landlord was Will– my kid (who is also a metal band drummer) knows him through his father, I think Will rented the house on College or something. Im sure the bible ladies were out to bust up your cult and save you, maybe he should have just played them some Keelhaul…

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