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...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists, photographers & adventurers.
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ball & joint lop & swap


3-D printed model of my ex-shoulder, 3″ x 4″ x 5″

My left shoulder is upside down.

Went into surgery Tuesday for a ball & joint lop & swap, came home Wednesday with my arm-ball pinned to my shoulder and my shoulder socket glued to my arm-bone below.

The ball of my humerus was a half-eaten hollow, and my rotator cuff was shot, so they performed a reverse total shoulder replacement instead.

I’m used to being the oddball outlot, so it’s fitting. I thank Lady for taking care of me in my one-armedness . . . she washes me all over with warm and soapy water – so sorry for the sorrow worry, wife.

Doc loaned us a 3-D printed model of my before-shoulder, so here are some fotos of the crime. Looks like a damaged feathercock or t-ball hit too hard and left out in the weather too long. Those holes you see through are not supposed to be there.

I asked the doc if I could have my real shoulder bone after for art. He laughed, said no because they shave it away so there’s nothing to give me.

Told Lady I might not do coffee tomorrow because her potent methamphetamine blend gave me a nasty edge that clashed with my pain medicine’s nasty edge which clashed with my pain’s nasty edge which clashed with my uncomfortable body edge — but every time I’ve said that, it’s been a lie. She said we’ll see, so I sang
“Oh say will we see by the pre-dawn’s light
if indeed I go clear or head for the dark bright.”

Strange, I used to love a pain pill high, now it’s an unpleasant bother, muddisome. I cut my dose in half this morning and will stop that as soon as possible. If me from 20 years ago were to read me now, he’d think I’d gone daft.

But boy did they give me a drug fest in the hospital – percosets or oxycodon every 4 hours with a needle of dilaudid in between . And still pain leaked through.





3-D printed model of my ex-shoulder, 3″ x 4″ x 5″

One Response to “ball & joint lop & swap”

  1. Ranger says:

    Wow, what an experience. Seriously, what causes that level of deterioration (other than years of abuse?). Is this osteoporosis, or something else? Looks like wood attacked by termites. Could this happen to the other shoulder? or your knees? or your ankles? You’re being replaced piece by piece ~ The Bionic Smith. Am relieved to hear that you appear to be doing more or less OK, and am especially glad you are nestled into the caring hands of Nurse Lady. Ain’t modern life a medical miracle ~ hope you’ll get a break for at least the next decade.

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