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...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists, photographers & adventurers.
Our relationship was forged to the soundtrack of Yoko Ono's magic,
frenetic, love-laden song, "Walking On Thin Ice." ( play song )
 
   
 
 

Archive for October, 2014

In here

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

In Here

Darkening dim and blowing cold
out the window of my wall
yet so warm and toasty within
with love of Lady as she sleeps
with love of sleeping cat
it’s warm and soft and safe
in here
as safe as chance lets be.

– Smith, 10.22.2014

 

Industrial Symphony 35

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

Industrial Symphony 35

They wedge me in the MRI
surgical shoulder ache in pain
start to roll me into machine as I inquire
“How long will this take?”
“Thirty-five minutes.”
My mind cramps,
don’t like being trapped,
don’t like this,
know the panic button in my hand
CAN NOT BE USED
and then Industrial Symphony 35 starts
bleep blap boop
duck duck duck duck duck
baptist baptist baptist baptist
whirl screech scrack scream
bipbipbipbipbipbipbipbipbipbipbip
groan jerk jerk jerk growl
whappa whappa whip whop
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
blurp bloop bleep
gurgle
grok
chick chick click click chick chick crik
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
woopwoopwoopwoop
ruha ruha rumble rumble row
shudder shake shake shiver
herk quirk murk blurt
scrape jerk jerk jerk scoop
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
bump
aooooga aooooga
dive dive dive
silence
start again different order
different sounds
worthy of recording for hard music market
loud loud loud
I trap my trap fear
breath slow, deep
say Buddhist chant
start counting one thousand one
roam levels of hell
until “You doing ok?”
“How long?”
“Ten minutes more.”
rise through purgatory
finally
“Three minutes. You’ve been very good.”
one thousand one one thousand two
hit one thousand one hundred fifty
“Done, be right in.”
Never again.
But thanks for the symphony
if not the memory,
and may you never ever hear it.

– Smith, 10.21.2014

 

SOMETHING ABOUT CATS

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

SOMETHING ABOUT CATS

Her urges, like a rubber band, pull at her voice box,
and she rests on the satisfied platform
of play and sleep

When it comes to words
what does she think? Does
she use words?

How to think without words?
Does she think with sound?
What was I before words?

Is it touch, like taking one’s hand
along the wall, or one’s tail, and seeing
where the wall leads?

Maybe like a potter?

Is it sight?
Or smell?

Imagine smell, thinking in smell
making more of it than Proust’s
recollections of times past

Rather smell a hard-working
Swiss army knife
that widgets one
through days

~ Lady

 

Out at the In-laws 14

Monday, October 20th, 2014

in-law’s barn top

Out at the In-laws 14

Driving one-armed east
with surgically inserted new bone
of chrome and cobalt and clay
through sunlit pastel patches
of reds and yellows
and peach green leaf against blue sky,
50 degrees,
shoulder pain soothed by autumn shift,
we’re Ashtabula bound
to prepare land for spring bees,
outlaw laugh with in-laws,
eat vegetarian pizza,
see amateur Little Shop of Horrors
played way well,
all topped with apple kuchen,
then cracken home
she asleep
me alone in dark at wheel
with ever expanding arm
returning from its grave.

– Smith, 10.20.2014


in-law leaf

 

Un-Alone Again, Naturally

Sunday, October 19th, 2014

Ode to Wild Bees by Lady K
her entry for Peoples Art Show 2014

Un-Alone Again, Naturally

My goal has always been to live ALONE.

Yet
1946-1963 I lived with my parents
1963-68 US Navy
1968 roommate
1968-69 finally lived ALONE for half a year
1969-70 first wife Robin Redbreast
1971 county jail
1972-75 first wife
1975 six months ALONE
1975-76 roommate
1976 parents
1976-77 brother Cat
1977 three months with my adultress and her husband
1977-1981 ALONE
1981 brother Cat
1982-3 ALONE
1983-85 artist Masumi Hayashi
1985-90 ALONE
1990-2005 mom Mother Dwarf
2005 three months ALONE
2005 till rest our life with Lady wife.

Score: 11 years ALONE, 57 not.

– Smith, 10.19.2014


Ode to Wild Bees by Lady K
her entry for Peoples Art Show 2014

 

Conversation with Wife 10

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Chiplis studio

I’m so grateful to finally get two hours of horizontal sleep. Been catching snatches of upright sleep in a broken Lazy Boy chair that won’t recline since I got home from the shoulder replacement two weeks ago.

My left shoulder’s down to an uncomfortable dull constant aching tightness, which can’t be too bad cuz I went 20 hours without Tylenol yesterday, and this is way better than where I was — those 1st nine days after the cutting were brutal. I had these little mind attacks of claustrophobic helplessness that were pushing me places I didn’t want to know, so refused to go.

One pain pill left. Use it tonight for a couple more hours bed sleep.

Yet another camera died. Must be 10 dead cheap small digital cameras over the past 12 years — Casios and Nikons. We were in Target at the time so got a new Nikon for $99.

Conversation with Wife 10

I’m a piss and shit machine.

“No you’re not.”

Yes I am. I consume raw materials
and convert them to piss and shit.

“You also create.”

Creation’s a by-product of piss and shit.
Or piss and shit’s a by-product of creation.

– Smith, 10.17.2014


Chiplis studio

 

WAKING UP 2

Thursday, October 16th, 2014

WAKING UP 2

Taste of sleep on my breath
haze of half here

Coffee
friendly, slow morning talk
like fresh sheets

Cat energetic
some kind of lucid movie
in peripheral awareness

Paco Pena playing
and the anticipation
of breakfast

So lucky

~ Lady

 

Ur Mom

Wednesday, October 15th, 2014

fortune tell

Ur Mom

Some new fone spam scam?
Or misdial maybe?

Got a text saying “Ur mom hit that number”
from # 1055983176.

Guess I’m sposed to call and ask what’s going on.
I know there are a couple fone bill scams
that require the pigeon to call.

Of course since mom’s been dead 9 years now,
I spose there’s no hurry calling back.

Unless it’s a message from the other side.

Guess I’ll play the lottery today,
use false fone number,
bet $3 on Mom to win.

– Smith, 10.15.2014

Used the actual fone# from the text (the # above is phoney) plus Mom data to buy three tickets just now.

So now that my future is resolved, let’s assess the present.

I’m amazed that 15 days ago they cut out my left shoulder, replaced it with an upsidedown cobalt, chrome, and clay facsimile, and sent me home 24 hours later.

First nine days were bad – pain, discomfort, but the body trauma and surgery exhaustion were handled by the pain pills and lots of sleep.

Each of the six days since has been an exponential explosion of improvement. My pain meds were supposed to run out 4 days ago, yet still have four left. The old Smith would have gobbled the pills in 7 days and suffered the rest. Old dog learn new trick.


the other side

 

12 days pain haze daze

Sunday, October 12th, 2014

taking my breast shot

12 days pain haze daze.

To go through massive flesh pain to get rid of constant pain?
Or avoid new pain by living with forever increasing old pain?
That is the question.

Every time I’d tell the doctors I’d gone through hip replacement surgery, they would darkly hint how much harder a shoulder replacement is, so I figured I was in for a bit of a slog.

Started down pain road during prep when one doc said she’d gone through two shoulder ops, one with a neck nerve block and one without, and the one thing she knew was I did NOT want to be cut open without a block.

So they brought in an ultra-sound machine to help find my phantom neck vein, injected a bunch of uncomfortable stuff in through a needle while saying things I didn’t want to hear like “you don’t want to miss this because that’d mess with his heart.”

When they were done I told them it hadn’t worked because I could still feel, but they said it was too dangerous to do twice and maybe it’d kick in later. Never did. Never worked. Never blocked pain, which was nasty because they assumed when I was coming to in recovery I was pain-free when in fact I hurt so much I thought something had gone seriously wrong and was trying to explain to them through the anesthesia that the block had failed.

Once recovered they gave me percoset or oxy-codone every 4 hours which got rid of most of the pain, followed 2 hours later by a shot of liquid Dilaudid (Elvis’ favorite drug) which zapped all the pain and made me happy for 2 hours.

I was ecstatic I’d woken from the operation because of course had had small thoughts of not making it, so the day before just in case I did the dishes and a couple loads of laundry to tidy up.

Talked myself out of the hospital 24 hours after operation.

Doc said it was particularly difficult session because my arm ball-joint had holes in it, more than half of it worn away, and it and my shoulder socket somehow had wedged together, which doesn’t compute because I don’t see how I could even move my arm from what he showed me.

First nine days were pretty bad. Pain. Trapped in arm sling. Sleeping upright in chair (12 nights so far) because horizontal hurts. Kept getting chills, uncontrolled hypothermic shaking rattling my teeth and skeleton, often while stuck on the toilet with massive constipation from pain pills and body trauma.

Not a lot of fun.

But it turned the corner three days ago, every aspect getting better, except it’s rather like those nested matryoshka or babushka Russian dolls where each doll breaks open to reveal a smaller doll inside — every level of pain reduction after a brief celebration reveals itself to be another vast sea of just slightly smaller pains and discomforts, so you’re happy you feel better except you still feel bad.

Now feeling near human, running out of pain pills while heading for painful rehab in a couple days, but at least the bad bad’s mostly done while the bad’s good is waiting somewhere down the lane.

But I’m tired of this. Four operations in four years is enough.

Prospect

I’ve been often bit,
but will not again by these
particular teeth.

– Smith, 10.12.2014

One nasty note: after 4-5 hours of operation, they called Lady into a special room so the doctor could talk to her. This hadn’t happened before, and when she saw the box of tissues, she assumed something had gone real wrong. The doc just wanted to explain that once they’d gone in, they saw I was too far gone for normal repair so they’d had to turn my replacement ball and socket upside down to make it work. They’d wanted to explain a difficult operation had gone well, while she thought they were trying to tell her I was gone. Not nice.

Thanks to Lady for her loving care, thanks to the docs for their skill, thanks to the pain pills for getting me this far, and thanks to grass for easing the potentially too much bodymind distress over all.


better day down the line

 

In and Out, Around

Friday, October 10th, 2014

In and Out, Around

Wiggle wobble leaf
shake shake shaking in the tree,
light in bright release.

And the endless face
of hibiscus flowing flux
of beauty to grace.

There’s birds words and we
who being seed carriers
cross at song and tree.

We spice mouth tango:
black pepper tingles the tongue,
cinnamon tangles.

Wife, cat, sun, and me,
I’m of all and all’s of me,
we be be that be.

This flower won’t die
no matter what clime or time,
it grows now, thrives by.

– Smith, 10.10.2014

 

 
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