one small step
Status Report 185
Got the act, just need the action.
I’m smart enough for it to be a problem
but not smart enough to make it pay.
Unfamous I fumble my future
suture to suture to further unfind
I’m not a main user.
I want it all, and then some, plus 10%.
Seeking mayonnaise mind
I look into my head and find boketto brain.
There is no me outside my head
rather strange out
stranger in.
I no longer hear myself.
Like to get to know me
but I won’t talk.
Follow the star and the three wisemen.
I will be lying in swaddled clothes
with the asses in the mange.
– Smith, 2.26.2016
Boletto is a Japanese word with no English equivalent meaning staring off in the distance at nothing.
Got stoned on grass and took my one lorazepam relaxant pill before my MRI yesterday and fell asleep during the middle of it. When I jerked awake inside the machine, I was unsure where I was . . . all I could see was a glowing unfocusable translucent milkiness of unknown depth and the dust on my eyeballs floating somewhere between me and milk which was further confounded by the strange loud clunking mechanical sounds surrounding me.
Reminded me of my confusion waking in the elevator in 1984. Was working 60 hours a week programming computers and I got stoned and went in at 4 a.m. to get a head start. The computer stuck between floors, so I called the emergency number and was told it would be an hour before the guy could get up, dress, and drive in, so I lay down on the carpeted floor and went to sleep. When I awoke still stoned, I looked around the strange box I was lying on the bottom of and tried to decide where I was. Suddenly a panel in the wall opened and a guy motioned for me and we stepped across the elevator shaft to the next elevator which took me up to work.
Marvelous mind fuck.
