Bluebeard Smith, foto by Lady K

Post-Op, Day 4

So strange
to be in pain
thankful it’s not more
not yet weary of the wait

I’m a man of bad bone
born from arthritic mother
to slowly crumble
head bone to neck bone
into older bone
chrome and cobalt shoulder
titanium hip

4 hour pain pills
wear off hour early
whisper me of truth

Night darkens the land
snow unshadows shadows
skin wraps pain

Bad bones groan to dust
tomorrow yesterday’s musk

– Smith, 1.15.2017

Room 837, Bed 1. MetroHealth six blocks from here. Alternate universe. The whistles and bell warnings, nurses laughing, the pain moaning all night long – compared to here, low lights, Christmas tree lights, we still have two lights of our five colored light lamp left. We get richer, buy three more light bulbs.

In about three weeks they will start rehab, and it’s going to be an interesting process because everything’s gone to shit past 18 months. I need total rework. Where do they start?

Once I’d bruised my fingertips, once the spinal cord bone burr bruised it, my fingertips went 10, 15% numb. And it might not go away. But it won’t get worse, which it would otherwise because it’s degenerative.

I got a good mom of bad bone.

I think my sister suffered from arthritis due to Mom, and her auto accidents, being hit by a car and all that.

But I do know about Cat. I know he had his face broken.

There was a bad deal. He was asleep, stoned, in a van. He was a passenger. And they hit something or something hit them and he went face first into the dashboard. Shattered his jaw.

So they wired him back together, wired his jaw shut. He drank sustenance through a straw, through a gap in the wire.

After they were all done and healing, discovered they’d fucked up. They had to re-break his face, and he went in knowing they were going to smash his jaw.

First time he was asleep, just happened. Second time he knew what was going to happen and when.

I’m tired of all these operations. But I think I have a right shoulder to go, eventually. It’s amazing they can fix us, like automobiles.

They can even go down to the local service station and get a valve job. Now that’ll ring your chamber.

pain pill person

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