Frankenstein Earphone Radio

Bill Gates by Critters Buggin, 1997

See the skull, the part of bone removed,
the “master-race” Frankenstein radio controls,
the Brain-thoughts Broadcasting Radio,
the Eyesight Television,
the Frankenstein Earphone Radio,
the Threshold Brainwash Radio,
the latest new skull reforming to contain ALL Frankenstein Controls,
even in THIN skulls of WHITE PEDIGREE MALES!

DEADLY ASSAULTS, even in my yard with knives,
even bricks and stones,
even remote electronically controlled around-corners-projection
or even bloody-murder “accidents”

These hangmanrope sneak deadly gangsters,
the judges the police
trick, trap, rob, wreck, butcher, and MURDER the people
to keep them TERRORIZED
in Gangster Frankenstein earphone radio slavery

Look up and see the Gangster Computer God
The worldwide completely controlled deadly degenerative
climate and atmosphere through the new world round
Translucent Exotic Gaseous Envelope

You are a terrorized member of the “MASTER RACE” worldwide
4 BILLION eye-sight television camera guinea pig
Communist Gangster Computer God MASTER RACE!
You’re LIVING, THINKING mad, deadly worldwide
Communist Gangster Computer God SECRET OVERALL PLAN:

~ ~ ~

Critters Buggin used a portion of one of Francis E.Dec’s rants as lyrics for Bill Gates on their 1997 album Host.

Critters Buggin is a Seattle, Washington rock, jazz, funk, punk, ambient, electronic band (1993–present) — they’re strange, all over the place, and have at least 9 (to me) fascinating tunes.

Francis E. Dec 1926-1996) “was an American lawyer and outsider writer who was best known for his typewritten diatribes that he independently mailed and published from the late 1960s onward. His works are characterized by highly accusatory and vulgar attacks, often making use of conglomerate phrases like “Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God” to slander people, groups or companies that he believed were engaging in electronic harassment against him, and gained a cult following from the mid-1980s onward due to their comedic incoherence.” – per Wikipedia (

bit of a scuffle shuffle . . .

bit of a scuffle shuffle . . .

Handcuffed To A Fence In Mississippi – Jim White w/ Morecheeba
Another Man Done Gone – Odetta
New Sensations – Lou Reed
Female Jesus – Johnny Dowd
Ain’t Nobody’s Business If I Do – Billie Holiday
The Destruction Of The Superdeep Borehole Tower – The Mountain Goats
Bedbugs & Ballyhoo (Transformed) – Echo And The Bunnymen
Piano Sonata No. 1: III. Allegro con brio – Steven Beck
Backlash Blues – Nina Simone
Boots Like Emmy Lou’s – Janis Ian
Mother’s Rope – Lightman Jarvis Ecstatic Band
Death Came A-Knockin’ – Ruthie Foster
Letter From Abroad – John Cale
Moanin’ – Charles Mingus
In C – Jean-Louis Matinier & Kevin Seddiki
Music For A Found Harmonium – Penguin Cafe Orchestra
To Zion – Digital Underground, Shock G & Solo Piano
Like A Freight Train – John Hiatt
Addicted – Amy Winehouse
Ghost Town – The Specials
Chills & Fever – Samantha Fish
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy – The Andrew Sisters
You Will Never Work In Television Again – The Smile

low rustle shuffle . . .

low rustle shuffle . . .

Hard Times Come Again No More – Joan Baez & Emmylou Harris
Cowboy Music – George Harrison
Thank You Lord – Hellwood
Pony – The Waifs
Sick Bed Blues – Buffalo Nichols
Holy Mackerel – Les Claypool and The Holy Mackerel
Smoke: IV – New Music Detroit
(I Heard That) Lonesome Whistle – Hank Williams & The Drifting Cowboys
Tennessee Waltz – Patti Page
Shuck Dub – R.L. Burnside
High Flyin’ Bird – Au Go-Go Singers
What Makes The Monkey Dance – Chuck Prophet
Nothing To Be Desired – David Bowie
#1 Crush – Garbage
Switch Blade (alternate take) – Duke Ellington, Mingus, Max Roach
Our Lady Of The Underground – Anaïs Mitchell & Ani DiFranco
Lowdown Monkey Blues – The Replacements & Tom Waits
Doubter Out Of Jesus (Over You) – Chuck Prophet
Baby, Let’s Play House – Elvis Presley
Dead Horse – Yard Act
Mama Tried – Merle Haggard
Take What I Can Get – Halle & The Jilted
Stuff Is Way – They Might Be Giants


Where does the red brick go?

Where does the red brick go?

My 76th feature past 74 months . . . the usual 9 poems, 10 fotos.

“Smith is here today, telling us about his Lady and the dog and the cat and the house they have in Cleveland. He tells it in true Smith fashion—little snatches of what he calls LIFE (the good and the bad and the mostly in-between). Thanks for your visit today, Steven—always a pleasure!” – Kathy Kieth, publisher/editor . . . send her some stuff, she posts every day.

who knows shuffle . . .

who knows shuffle . . .

I’ve an hour or so at night after Lady goes to bed when I sit in the dark, gas fireplace lit, ask Alexa to shuffle my Diogenes playlist, and toke, wandering my mind looking for laughs, lessons, and lowku.

Enjoy the marvelous, unexpected segues as much as the songs sometimes.

Strong Feelings – Dry Cleaning
Kill Your Mama – Alicia Keyes
Buzzin’ Fly – Tim Buckley
Add It Up – Violent Femmes
Grow Mama Grow – Dominique Fils-Aimé
Long Gone Lonesome Blues – Hank Williams
New Sensations – Lou Reed
Rich – Yard Act
Tell You Girls – Roma di Luna
The Syncopated Clock – Leroy Anderson
New Speedway Boogie – Beats Antique w/ Clint Maedgen
I’m A Long Gone Daddy – Ernest Tubb
Buckethead – Meat Puppets
Palm Of My Hand – Mama Lucky
Sinnerman! – Nina Simone
Sex And Gasoline – Rodney Crowell
Strange Love – Slim Harpo
Backseat Nothing – The Del Fuegos
You Never Know Just How Good You’ve Got It – George Jones
Intermission – Meat Beat Manifesto
Walking On Thin Ice – Yoko Ono
Peroxide Beach – Sloppy Jane
Happy – Danny Elfman

sorta slinky shuffle . . .

sorta slinky shuffle . . .

Woke Up This Morning – Vinnie Pauleone & The Ba Da Bing Orchestra
Oh No – Wet Leg
Fucking Fucked Up – Miley Cyrus
Only Happy When It Rains – Garbage
1961 – The Grassy Knoll
The Caravan Moves On – Charles Lloyd
Open All Night – Bruce Springsteen
Trucker Beak – Critters Buggin
Shut Up And Drive – Shawn Colvin
Bloody Mary Morning – Willie Nelson
If It Wasn’t For Bad Luck – Ray Charles & Jimmy Lewis
Lost Highway – Hank Williams
Brand New Cadillac – The Clash
Fuck Your Acid Trip – Modest Mouse
Beezlebub – Beats Antique w/ Les Claypool
Wield the Spade – Oysterhead
Karmacoma – Massive Attack
Doors Of Destiny – Beats Antique w/ Micha & Leighton
Better Times Will Come – Janis Ian
Solo Dancer – Charles Mingus
Nature Boy – Nat King Cole

the WTF shuffle . . .

the WTF shuffle . . .

Money Jungle – Duke Ellington, Mingus, Max Roach
Don’t Bogart Me – The Fraternity of Man
God’s Back Pocket – Hellwood
My Medicine – Snoop Dogg
Jazz Police – Leonard Cohen
Detachable Penis – King Missile
Law (Earthlings On Fire) – David Bowie
Fuck That Guy – The Dirty Knobs
Blue Monk – Thelonious Monk
Chase – Spindle Ensemble
Kitty – Ruby and the Rednecks
India (live 1961) – John Coltrane
Eyestalk (Gurkaran Waraich) – Love
A Mother’s Rope – Lightman Jarvis Ecstatic Band
Ain’t Nothin’ In Ramblin’ – Bonnie Raitt & Steve Freund
Asbestos Lead Asbestos – Meat Beat Manifesto
Luciferian Prayer – Morfiouz
I Am A Man That Worries – John Mellencamp
Thrills – Cake
Panic – No Doubt

5 Falls + 1

5 Falls + 1

Well, wife ain’t crushed, and I’m not broken, maybe . . . though yesterday’s +1 seems to have my knee doing a swollen grapefruit impersonation, and one rib shrieking every sneeze or cough.

Many a fall in my life, but past two months seeded a bumper crop.

Cleaned our roof gutter, and as I stepped over the garden fence, my toe caught in chicken wire and I slow-mo fell forward, which gave me time to notice my head heading toward the raised paving bricks.

Hit head and knee hard. First thing I checked for head flesh gash. When 10, I jumped a low block wall and landed on a block behind it which cut my leg in a bloodless V down to sun-bright bone, which in fascination I touched with my finger, amazed how white and shiny it was. I expected to touch skull.

Had head blood, but no gashes, so checked knee. Couple years ago I broke my kneecap and the bone didn’t knit, so kneecap’s held together by fibers, and if I knelt on it, I’d be in eye-tearing pain for weeks. Luckily I hit just below the knee so again spared major damage.

Then two weeks ago a cold snap froze the water running across a Metropark path, then dusted it with snow, so I’m walking the dog an hour before dawn, looking for deer and fotos, writing poems in my head, and — WHAP — foot hits snow-dusted ice and I’m on my back on frozen gravel, in the dark, on a seldom-used path, in considerable pain, thinking it’s too cold to be lying here, let’s see what works, and slowly rise, functional.

Fall 3 is the scariest. Sitting here reading, I hear a thunk 3 feet to my right, look over and see black cat blur racing away and think “oh, she knocked something over,” and then brain freezes trying to understand why the 40 pound ceiling fan is lying on its side on the floor in front of Lady’s chair. The fan had broken away from the cathedral ceiling and crashed into the easy chair in which she’d been sleeping half hour earlier. Had she been there, she’s dead or broken.

Reality really tried with sneak-punch 4 & 5. Snowstorm hit 3 days ago, and I shoveled for hours, safely. Then took the garbage and compost out. At the garbage cans I looked at the 50 foot of snow drifts between me and the compost pit and decided to drop it in the trash instead . . . but then my brain says no, that’s not right, the 8-Fold Path preaches right thought, right action, so I walk through snow, step on an icy flagstone and smash to the ground on my right side. This is hard. Seriously painful. Slowly see what works, manage to rise, decide to dump compost in trash after all, take one step and step into the fish pool that’s totally covered in snowdrift, and smash even harder on my left side, pain overwhelming, knowing pain this intense means bad news because no way you can hurt this much and not be seriously damaged.

I begin to see what works, turn on my side, unsteadily rise, slow-step into the house, and tell Lady I have to sit a bit before I can check if I’m broken. And I’m not. Only damage besides bruised muscles is a 9 inch blood scrape down my right forearm, and a 6 inch blood scrape down the left. Pain is so great I feel nauseous.

The next day is fall free, and I’m exhilarated that I’m alright, absolutely astonished.

And then . . .

Yesterday morning I’m carrying my toasted bagel on a soon-to-be broken plate as I walk through a dark room where our 120 pound golden labrador is lying unseen right in the middle and I smash chest first into the floor, managing to turn my head so I land side-skull instead of face first.

Smashed my never-healed broken knee, which looks quite grapefruitish now, and I bone-bruised or cracked a rib. A cough brings sharp pain, a sneeze tears. Had many a cracked and broken and bruised rib in my time so know you wait them out, hold the rib tight when you sneeze to reduce pain, and take smaller tokes so you don’t cough.

These falls are more worrisome because I have bad bones — osteoporosis.

Before fall 6, I told Lady I was writing this up as Five Falls, and she said better watch it doesn’t become the 8-Fall Path, which brings me to the humor here . . . I decide to do the “right thing” as I see it for the 8-Fold Path, and I get hurt. Something doesn’t gel.

So there, it’s written as 5 + 1 . . . this means no fall # 7 allowed. Time to stop this ridiculous sitcom, the Gods have their portion of laughter.

One odd thought is I’ve been slowly losing weight past year, for no known reason, going from 165 down to this morning’s 149. Since I’m doing these falls from my 6′ 3″ height, those extra lost pounds probably help hurt me less.

Another fleetflash thinking is the film Final Destination where some young folk get off the plane that’s going to crash, which irritates Death, so he hunts them down and kills them one by one . . . spose reality is trying to fall me into quietude?

Maybe it all goes back to Eve and the Snake. Or me on the make.

Half horror, half slapstick, whole Smith.

Lady’s chair, ceiling fan fallen

oblique shuffle . . .

oblique shuffle . . .

Dead Man’s Party – Oingo Boingo
Booming And Zooming – Tom Tom Club
(No More) Wet T-Shirt Contests – Low Cut Connie
Lowdown Monkey Blues – The Replacements & Tom Waits
Like Ceasar Needs a Brutus – Anita Lane
Empty My Mind – Poi Dog Pondering
Where Would I Be – Mama Lucky
Absinthe – Otis Taylor
Oh No – Wet Leg
Glueland – Do Nothing
Serious Ground – Danny Elfman
High Flyin’ Bird – Au Go-Go Singers
Better In My Day – NYX & Gazelle Twin
What Makes The Monkey Dance – Chuck Prophet
Backseat Nothing – The Del Fuegos
Hassidic Pizza – Tuxedomoon
Oboe Round – Moondog
Workinonit – J Dilla

low hustle shuffle . . .

low hustle shuffle . . .

Let X=X – Laurie Anderson
Sundirtwater – The Waifs
Wet Dream – Wet Leg
Clean – The Priests
Better In My Day – NYX & Gazelle Twin
Assassin – Bill Laswell
Birther Blues – The Dead Kenny G’s
Backlash Blues – Nina Simone
Like Ceasar Needs a Brutus – Anita Lane
Sinner! – Jim White & The Packway Handle Band
The Resignation vs The Comeback Special – Todd Snider
The Snake and the Moon – Dead Can Dance
Diamonds And Rust – Joan Baez
Kiss Kiss Kiss – Yoko Ono
El Cerrito – Cracker
Chase – Spindle Ensemble
The Hanging Garden – The Cure
Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 – Bob Dylan
Caravan – Duke Eliington, Mingus, Max Roach