AD.

December’s children…

2023.12.3 – Sometimes I sit in silence
2023.12.4 – Concertrations
2023.12.8 – CATscan PETscan X-Ray MRI
2023.12.11 – Doctor going in
2023.12.12 – Words out there
2023.12.14 – The writing’s on the wall
2023.12.18 – My spirituality’s
2023.12.19 – Words inside looking to get out
2023.12.24 – for Lady’s 51st
2023.12.28 – Another waiting room
2023.12.29 – Sometimes the nothing
2023.12.31 – (added Machts Nichts from 10.10.1993 from mailcard)

~ ~ ~

Sometimes I sit in silence
Sometimes silence sits in me

~ ~ ~

Concertrations

Frank Sinatra 1968
(made the Coliseum intimate)
Cream Goodbye Tour 1968
(1st concert on LSD)
Elvis Presley 1976
(dead year later)
Ella Fitzgerald w/ Count Basie
Ella Fitzgerald w/ Oscar Peterson
Laurie Anderson Home Of The Brave
Laurie Anderson (solo)
Talking Heads Stop Making Sense
Bob Dylan (5 times, 4 excellent)
Willie Nelson twice
(2nd Agora 40 foot away smoking joint)
Tom Waits
(early 80s front table smoking joint)
Emmylou Harris
Plastic Exploding Inevitable 1968
(made left ear bleed)
Waylon Jennings
Little Richard
(in a shimmering mirror shard dress, atop piano)
Bonnie Raitt
John Prine twice 20 years apart
(5 stars out of 4)
The Residents
Tiny Tim
(45 minute interview & front page review)
Meat Beat Manifesto
(stopped by loft to see my art)
Grateful Dead (on acid of course)
Devo (twice)
Moody Blues (on acid)
Dwight Yokum
Alex Patterson (shared synthetic hash oil)
Lyle Lovett
The Rolling Stones
Mose Allison
(passed out drunk in seat, no memory)
Joni Mitchell
(threw down guitar 2nd song, show over)
Cat Stevens
Mahavishnu Orchestra
Beach Boys
(bad bad bad in baseball stadium between innings)
Martin Denny
(my 1st concert, 1963)
The Lettermen
(2nd concert, forced to go as Plebe)
+ scores more in Memorygapville

(though never saw them play
got stoned with Alice Cooper and Flo & Eddy
and white wine drunk with Paul Williams)

~ ~ ~

CATscan PETscan X-Ray MRI
in and out fast and slow
to see what of me stays
what me goes

They shoot me full of dye
and radiation juice
weighing what remains
what’s to lose

~ ~ ~

Doctor going in
taking bad stuff out
hope there’s some me left over

~ ~ ~

Words out there
waiting to get in
if I’d just listen

Rooster calls for sun
crows every 9 seconds
day stays gray

Tick tock click talk
too many clocks
entropy wins

We’re shadow alleys
in alley shadow
deep in game begun

~ ~ ~

The writing’s on the wall
and the floor
the ceiling
the hall
warning danger feral Smith
keep on going you might be missed
or not
that’s the knot

Alien brains ate my gummies
corporate torts whore my tongue
chased by patriarchal mummies
eye left oblique their know no fun

I’m old and cold
but keep moving
it’s best not to stop

As words flow like liquid laughter
first slow after faster
me smart enough to know me not

I cranky curmudgeon
stumbling about in mumbling mind

Me to life:
this ain’t where I want to be.
Life to me:
deal with it.

~ ~ ~

My spiritualty’s
stumbling down the 8-Fold Path
falling on its ass

~ ~ ~

Words inside looking to get out
bypass filtering thought reason probability
in spawn of lizard and the brain

feel feed flee fight flux
and other four-letter flows
scream and preen

but we’re not going there
because there’s no there there
it’s all here hear
now know

You can count the headlights coming
or taillights going
but that won’t tell you miles left

~ ~ ~

for Lady’s 51st

This past year
you’ve worn the face you earned
your first 50 autumn falls

And a fine face it is
good heart strings
moral bone

With spirit and laughter
to firmly level
here now and after

You walk in good
feel kind
find the fold

You are here
present
giving

I am grateful
for you, to you
for your great full

Smarter than me
and sweeter, kinder
postive, protective, proactive

You go
I follow
we move in music

And such a song
strong
long

Never gone

In 19th year
we still befuddle
the huddle

These words are clumsy
you are not
you are my lot

You me besot

There are feet in inches
measures unknown
you are my standard

Heart
spirit
soul
whole

~ ~ ~

Another waiting room
another waiting
I pronounce myself bored

In six days I’m to be sedated
eight to ten hours
then resedated 24 or so

Between the two
they remove bad Smith
see what’s left

That’s step 1
I’ll wake up
or I won’t

If don’t
poem over
wife sad

If do
next stage pain begins
eventually ends

Life goes on
strife goes on
wife happily goes on

Not sure
what she sees in me
but glad

Of course
she is half blind
from left eye cancer

My own cancer
second so far
got me hanging by threads

Going from red light
to red light
and I’m not even in the district

~ ~ ~

Sometimes the nothing
is nothing at all
and sometimes it’s something

And sometimes it is all
like this black shadow cat
purring in my black denim lap

Here in Entropyland
you gotta go for the moments

~ ~ ~

Machts Nichts

Call me mutant
Call me man
Muted mud
Mad and maimed
Mother mire
Father flame
Name don’t matter
All be game
All is All, One, and Nothing
Stalled illusion
Muted shame
Mocks nix maya
Master aim
Chasing shadow
Phantom gain
Be it pleasure
Lessons learning
All is Maya
Play replayed

– Smith, 10.10.1993 (from old mailart card)

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