Blog Home Agent of Chaos City Poetry Zine Buy Stuff!
...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists, photographers & adventurers.
Our relationship was forged to the soundtrack of Yoko Ono's magic,
frenetic, love-laden song, "Walking On Thin Ice." ( play song )

Archive for the ‘bad taste’ Category

concrete TV

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

Concrete TV – foto by smith

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

According to Nielsen, the average American watches 151 hours of TV a month, an increase of 3.6% from last year. That’s five hours a day. WikiAnswers claims it’s 8 hours 11 minutes per day. Nielsen also says teenagers (12-17) watch 103 hours each month, while senior citizens (65 and older) watch 207.That’s a lot of tube boobs. Since Lady and I watch zero TV, some boob must be watching a lot of tube to take our slack.

I prefer to read books. Here’s one I recently found educational – a masturbation manual:

Masturbation Manual – foto by smith


unsavory searches

Friday, January 23rd, 2009

time – foto by smith

In 2004-2006, I mined my log files for odd, perverted and poetic search phrases strangers used to get to my site. For 28 months I posted the most interesting and odd in two found poems. Here’s a selection of the odd:

Selected UnSavory Searches

naked policemen having fun in the backseat
undeveloped vulva dog
hustler missing toes
dancing naked in the mind field light bulb
dog sniff lips
whipped horses dripping mud
glass penises in vase art
pics of old ladys missing teeth
dwarf rat born without eyes
giraffes ride my new skateboard
foreskin leash
naked woman being eaten by a snake
serial daylite
armless female
naked mind golum
photos of nude women holding a big sunflower
how does a reptile polish his shoes?
testicles crushed by high heels
Women with big breasts minus nudity and pornography
people in giant sandwiches being eaten by dragons
old man testicle photos
absence of your presence clear like a fish wire around heart
Persian men want woman juice sex
asian albinos
budapest horse yellow statue testicles
what is wrong when you have green sperm
i looked up at the sky and it bled white butterflies
+stealing +laundromat +panties
high heels crushing insects
fish frozen alive back to life
can dog testicles grow back
cigarette + toad + explode
bee sting belly bum bottom
buddha lie fallen fear return
weasel of lost wool

the entire poem is available at, but be forewarned – there’s a lot of sick, twisted, mean people out there searching for some pretty strange things, so you might need to take a shower after looking.

death – foto by smith


the killing floor

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

local artwork in a Oaxacan cafe – foto by smith

The USA has 761 military bases strung across a planet Earth that only has 194 countries on it – that would average four USA military bases per country.

The peak Roman Empire had 37 major military bases scattered around the world. At the apogee of the English Empire, the British had 36 military bases planet wide.

We have 761 active military “sites” abroad. For example, we have 106 bases in Iraq, 124 bases in Japan, 38 bases on the small island of Okinawa, 87 bases in South Korea. Who knows where the other 406 are.

The USA is also the largest arms dealer and seller of weapons of mass destruction on the planet – $135 billion of U.S. weapons sold in 2007, or 38% of all arms sold worldwide. Russia came in second with $68 billion, then France with $32 billion, the United Kingdom at $26 billion and China at $12 billion. That $135 billion we get selling arms to the rest of the world should cover one year of our war with Iraq and Afghanistan.

The USA spends more on military defense than the rest of the world combined – our Defense Budget for 2009 is $651.2 billion

The USA has bombed more than 50 countries in the past 62 years.

The USA has slaughtered over 2 million Iraqi civilians during Bill Clinton’s and George W. Bush’s presidencies.

Rather odd actions for a professed Christian nation. It is interesting how death and destruction always seems to follow God worshipers around. Welcome to the killing floor.

The base info came from . . . the rest of the data came from my previous blogs.

Killing Floor
recorded by Howlin Wolf, Eric Clapton, Mike Bloomfield

I should’a quit you, long time ago
I should’a quit you, baby, long time ago
I should’a quit you, and went on to Mexico

If I ha’da followed, my first mind
If I ha’da followed, my first mind
I’d’a been gone, since my second time

I should’a went on, when my friend come from Mexico at me
I should’a went on, when my friend come from Mexico at me
I was foolin’ with ya baby, I let ya put me on the killin’ floor

Lord knows, I should’a been gone
Lord knows, I should’a been gone
And I wouldn’t’ve been here, down on the killin’ floor

by Chester Burnett a.k.a. Howlin’ Wolf

Oaxacan artwork in a local cafe – foto by smith


Copyright (c) 2009 Smith & Lady
Designed by Lady K