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...and they lived happily ever after. Smith & Lady: poets, artists, photographers & adventurers.
Our relationship was forged to the soundtrack of Yoko Ono's magic,
frenetic, love-laden song, "Walking On Thin Ice." ( play song )

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

full eye spider dog star sirius

Friday, November 6th, 2015


I am my bee-suit Lady’s suitor

Conversation with Wife 15

The Old Testicle sez the eye is never full.

“What does that mean?”

It means one can never fill one’s full desires
because the eye can never be satisfied

“What’s your desire?

For a full eye.

“What’s full eye?”

There’s the small i, the capital I, the individual I, the 3rd eye,
red eye, private eye, eye of storm, and finally, full eye.

Speaking of which, spinning cellar spider inside out door
spidereyes me each time we leave, we need to name her.

“Okay, Mz Tittynipple.”

Ooooh, sounds veddy British, like watching Chewy, Drooly, & Gooey,
The Three Oozes, on TV back in the 1950’s.

“I don’t know how to answer your silly statements.”

They are not silly statements, these are serious inquiries,
Dog Star Sirius!

“Well I’m glad you’re so patient with me.”

What, are we playing Doctor?

– Smith, 11.6.2015


working on the green line



Abacus & Costello

Monday, November 2nd, 2015


But Seriously, Flux

Everything’s relative, especially relatives.

Every since they kicked us out of the Garden of Eden,
I’ve loved the Fall.

Do you know what Vitamin C becomes after eating?
Vitamin Saw.

DNA instruction say
before assembly, it is best to be two people.

I don’t believe in Utopia, I believe in MEtopia.

Why do algae wear brassieres?
Who knows, that’s why folks study algebra.

What’s H2O?
8 letters – H I J K L M N O.

Who’s a comedy team you can count on?
Abacus & Costello.

Can you spare some fair change, master?

– Smith, 11.2.2015



shoebooty bootshoey, that’s beware we’re at

Friday, September 11th, 2015


This ain’t too bad for a bad pun poem built on a pre-dawn pre-cup of coffee riff that fell out of my mouth before my wife’s stern unsmiling ears . . . didn’t crack a smile from her until my final Scoobie Doo.

Politics in America in the Age of Unreason

Shoebooty is when one wears

a shoe on their left foot and a boot on their right

Bootshoey is shoe on right, boot on left

The two camps fight all the day and all the night
over whether right’s left or left’s right

In end seam the left felt right and right fell wrong
at least so far that’s been my song or so it seems

Left … left … left .. left …
I left my wife and 49 kids in starving condition
without any gingerbread did I do right
right … right … right …
right by my country hip by jingo
first they hire me then they fire me
that’s when I left … left… left …

and round around we go
Curly Larry and Mostly Moe
every four years we do it again
getting down in unoriginal sin
cept it’s getting worse
cuz the right ain’t right and they run on wrong
while the left’s left with their insane song
and they’re all awaiting the coming hearse
while on the public they’re both a curse

which is why I wear both feet bare
so no wrong right left to heft life’s unneat defeat

Shoe be do shoe be don’t
I’m only gonna walk with the honorable folk
cuz showboats don’t float my moat

(which leaves out all Republicscams
and most Demoncraps)

Sorry folks but that’s beware it’s at

Scooby doobie oo shoo be doo be
shoo be doo be doo da day
zip a dee doo dah zip a dee ay
strangers in the right wrong their way

– Smith, 9.11.2015



snake fed baptists

Saturday, May 16th, 2015

There’s an open poetry reading tomorrow Sunday
Rooms To Let
art installation
2 pm
3810 E. 71 St., Cleveland, OHIO
hosted by Smith & Lady in the Chiplis Neon Repoetry room
or elsewhere outside, depending on weather and attendance
no sign up, just read if and when you feel
bring you own chair or sit or stand
Nepalese poet Yuyu Sharma will be part of open mic

Rooms to Let art installation FaceBook page

~ ~ ~

conversation with wife 13

snake fed baptists only go out with them snake-charmin’ wimmins. they don’t go out with no cathlicks. cathlicks and baptists don’t mix. least not snake fed baptists. they’re stern folk. no music, no books. no learning. jes yearning fer something under wrap. them snake-fed baptists do stuff behind yer back. sometimes dance. sometimes sing. that’s how they get through the night. them snake-fed baptists are also real skinny folk. snake don’t fill you out.
there, i said it.

– Smith & Lady, 5.16.2015

~ ~ ~

I get such pleasure from solving the JUMBLE puzzle in the morning paper because it tasks my mind and there’s a thrill when I solve it, and it makes me wonder what satisfaction cheaters like Tom Brady, Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, Jose Canseco, Andy Pettitte, Manny Ramirez, A-Rod, Roger Clemens, Jim Thome, Fox News talking heads, and most every CEO, policeman, and politician there is get from cheating . . . how can one feel accomplishment when one did not accomplish? I know cheating made them rich, but it’s tainted money. How do they sleep at night, how do they look in the mirror each morning, what satisfaction can they derive from folk looking up to their false godness? Especially odd is David Justice’s cheating, considering his last name and all, perhaps we should rename his David Injustice. Seems cheating is a prerequisite skill in sports, politics, policing, religion, and the corporate world.


Poetry Month – Lady #8

Wednesday, April 8th, 2015


She don’t stop, she don’t stop
shipping boxes full of love
ICC says keep it coming
and she don’t stop her callin’
shipping boxes full of love

She loves what she does
so she does what she loves
she don’t stop shipping boxes
full of love

What we open’s not Pandora’s
but lights color of our iris–
into homes of om zones
she ships her box of love

Something that we send out
coming back to us refinessed
she don’t stop, she don’t stop
shipping boxes full of love

~ Lady



Smith & Lady Poems March 2015 – Kathy’s # 26

Thursday, March 26th, 2015


Breaking logjam fog of dawn crackling daylight awake
on the tachometer comfortably matching illuminated
gear of the world’s signature, pumping khamak drum
to ear’s open negotiations of chinese opera tonalism,
fluid energy’s clarity for hardy legs of joggers
stimulating appetite to relish the cheddar of apple pie
degustation, intelligence animated like ecstatic visions
of the redeemer rising in blooms from flute’s keen
steam in a raga kafi,

Kathy always likes her cup of coffee.

~ Lady



danger danger Will Robinson

Sunday, March 8th, 2015

In wife’s and my March daily tag-team of poetry, Lady’s this:

O the frame’s yaw and yearn fishing a journey to the heavyside. Stars look at sweat and laugh with wetness. Mama’s hairy holes birthing iron squall. There are easier backstops for our ore. Let’s get down with fresh green leaping. Dowitchers resembling godwits back and forth.

~ Lady 3.8.2015

leads to this:

Danger Danger Will Robinson

Yaws and yams and maws and maams
and misters with blisters of sisters in jams

Heavy stars somewhere sweating in jars
their metals too weak to stay as they are

Good wits and God twits yesterday call
for things to blame whenever they fall

Earth is so sore from losing more ore
tired of the rich, sad for the poor

Do witches assemble in gathering glade
their good over bad slowly being laid

Whole holes and half and moles in the mud
sometimes help hide our burgeoning good

If we keep hurting sustaining land
Gaia has plan for removal of man

Walk upright while we close up the wrong
or here and there we won’t be for long

Raising up right while walking in light
will darkening future bring to the bright

Help hand in hand while holding in heart
that least amongst us is part of our part

Learn to live happy in world whirl of woe
then happy beats crappy as onward we go

Go on and laugh at my words silly so
but after the laughter is easier go

– Smith, 3.8.2015


Smith & Lady Poem Project for March 2015 – Lady’s #6

Friday, March 6th, 2015


Prescribing plucks on a zither in the zone of denoted dust for the genius of my body’s receptors like an engineer pavlovs a fuzzy solution. I can identify and achieve my goals chunking the mind down into lung dogged meditation in two-way osmosis phone with tinny or rich background noise. I can transform step by step by step.

~ Lady




Wednesday, March 4th, 2015



Wetter water wonders where
the wear and tear of tears do swear
to love obey and stay with true
well true is true for me to you

I love you oodles poodle love
from microbes low to whys above
in June through moon we spoon at night
before and after rising light

It ain’t no thang we bring to stage
but solid rock foundation aged
by this and that and other things
where here and there we tried our wings

We traveled far in various lands
skipping through potential plans
together most of night and day
and even so we talk and stay

I love you dear like mice love cheese
your way with me is one of ease
we laugh at times or silent sit
knowing this in this is kiss of fit

Through souvenirs of souks and sheiks
and pickpockets trying to take
we stood our ground and here we are
falling rising shining stars

So here’s for you and you for me
as far and long as be can be
I gotta say you are quite swell
you saved me from my one man hell

Our birth of cool is endless song
weaving in and out of throng
showing them there is a way
for two folk true as one to stay

I’ll see you here and down the road
help you on and off with load
hold your hand and walk and play
what more is there of need to say?

– Smith, 3.4.2015



today’s sermonette

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2015

lattice need

Today’s Sermonette

Rituals rise from lattice need
to gird with grid our daily bleed.

Outside the box is danger of
dragons and our falling off.

But go, step, it’s just a line
authority insists is in your mind.

A line not there in any case,
simply something for saving face.

Too many chickens, cowards, sheep,
zombie people walking sleep.

Afraid to live so live a lie
afraid to cut and savor pie.

Scared to ask for piece of puzzle
so booze and TV food do guzzle.

Afraid of life they look to Gods
to tell them when they cannot trod.

But Gods are gone to Corporate Land
so say the monied Upper Hand.

We bow and scrap and shake in fear
avoiding growth and seeing clear.

Why use their rules to live your life?
It’s up to you what’s good, what’s strife.

You pay the price of what they say.
I say we choose, go our way.

Fish in sea, bird in air, clan on land,
each one has its own plan.

Play and smile and laugh and dance,
discover stuff by taking chance.

Their code concretes on money myth.
No need to follow sez Irreverend Smith.

– Smith, 3.3.2015

fish in sea


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