“Friend is such an imprecise term. I have some friends I trust with my money but not with my daughter. I have some friends I trust with my daughter but not my money. I have some friends I trust with neither, and I have no friends I trust with both.” – Expat Pat.
I’m struggling with this blog.
I want to write about other people, people I’ve met here. And people I know from elsewhere. I have, to a small extent. But most of my writing about other people remains imprisoned in my journal.
I want to let LOOSE, to say EVERYTHING. To really really get inside my head and say everything about everybody. I think this is why people write fiction, to protect their integrity and friendships.
Why is it that everything interesting to me involves some type of compromise of decency? It’s always the “bad” or “controversial” things that interest me. Even to write about someone’s “good” points smacks of self interest or melodrama.
Other people are more interesting to write about than me, for me.
After all, I KNOW me. I THINK I do, anyways.
The most interesting talk is talk about other people: gossip.
I hold off from posting great deal of subjects because I feel embarrassed or rotten afterwards. But the things that interest me are the things that compromise other people.
Trust.
I don’t trust lots of women, largely because of a childhood betrayal. My best friend made a point to “seek and destroy” any of my love interests.
I don’t trust lots of men, single or married. I wrote a big paragraph to illustrate this here fact, but then I deleted it. Trust me, I got experience in this realm.
I don’t trust lots of people about anything, except Smith. And because of various previous betrayals twixt myself, other women, and other men, it took me a LONG time to learn to trust Smith.
I tell Smith, “You can betray me with another woman if she’s rich and ugly and if we can take off with her money afterwards.”
Any takers? A night with Smith… Hmm… I’ll say it’s worth at least a thousand dollars.
I trust myself with my marriage and contractual and financial obligations. But I don’t trust myself to SHUT UP about other people. After all, writers can’t keep secrets. Writers TELL secrets. That’s what makes our writing interesting.
