WALKING ON THIN ICE

Word harvest March 2024

-Word harvest March 2024

2024.3.3 – Deep low slow pull
2024.3.4 – Sun’s up
2024.3.6 – I sit in silence that is not silence
2024.3.13 – Life’s simple
2024.3.14 – Ahhh yes
2024.3.15 – Life’s funny
2024.3.23 – Remove my ears
2024.3.25 – In bath sweating
2024.3.26 – I’m slow

~ ~ ~

Deep low slow pull
big weight freight train moan
always going never coming

I am Sisyphus
I am rock
I am hill

(aren’t we all?)

I live on the corner
of Random Ave and Marginal Drive
just off Lost Nation Road

(fog in fugue of chance and choice)

I’m no Johnny Red-Toes
dipping his boots
in others’ blood

(backup beep of Reality repairing itself)

I keep my needs simple
a sip of water
a sit in the sun

Out there
persistant rooster tries to raise sun
under constant Cleveland cloud

~ ~ ~

Sun’s up
rooster keeps crowing
so much for cause and effect

~ ~ ~

I sit in silence that is not silence
there’s a wavering hiss of tire on concrete
the far siren singing
clock ticks
unknown people in unknown places
murmuring unknown words in unknown song
baby dinosaur chirps from tree
unseen dog barks territory
more cars hiss wind and water
squirrel chitters
wind chimes
rooster crows for sun every eleven seconds
when it’s been up for hours
in rhythmic return of almost nothing

unsilent dance
moves here
moves there
a veil over its fate

I listen

~ ~ ~

Life’s simple
you sow
you reap
you rip
you sew

I listen a lot lately
listen to the windchimes
but also to the wind
listen to kitten cry existential angst
yet power purr in my lap
listen to night
to light
to elephant trumpet and angry cat
in Zoo down hill
to wind water rush of rubber rolling road
and fainter hiss of hit and miss
to rooster constantly crowing sun
every few seconds all day long
to wife
(“happy wife, happy life”)
to shadow cat jumping from mantle to join me
in graceful silence
me grateful she wants to
to Good Smith inside see where he’s going
to Evil Smith as well just in case
to me listening to you listening
to spring birds peeping
sirens singing
freight trains moaning
coyotes howling
hoot owls hooting
in this Great Hearing of the Body Electric

and so I sow
reap
rip
sew
rinse again repeat
and try not to bleed in the street

~ ~ ~

Ahhh yes
clumps of complications behind me
all kinds of troubles lurking ahead
but right here
right now
hot black unsweetened coffee
steaming in a white Twin Peaks diner cup
life is sweet in its bitterness
there’s hope having stumbled this far
we can fake it to the finish
after we finish
this

~ ~ ~

Life’s funny
and then you die
a punchline

so
go for laughs
or gasps?

~ ~ ~

Remove my ears
take out my teeth
lay these old bones down
piece by piece

~ ~ ~

In bath sweating
cat in window above
beyond cat lies two ever-presents —

rooster crowing sun
freight train pulling moan

I am rooster
I am train
I am rising sun
I am undelivered load

between rooster and train
the low constant white noise
of windwater leaves and tires fleeing

I am wind
I am water
I am leaves
I am rubber

I do not flee

~ ~ ~

I’m slow
but I’m stupid
so I make up for it

~ ~ ~

been writing poetry 60 years

I have been writing poetry for 60 years.

Here is my oldest remaining from 1964. I was 18, in the Navy, at prep school for the Naval Academy, my English teacher asked me to write a poem for the base newspaper.

Fruddlehump

I saw a purple purfled cloud
A softly go flinning by
It skipped and jumped and fruddlehumped
Across the mauvian sky

Then I saw two bluish banobs
Making flurvy beneath the tree
They skipped and jumped and fruddlehumped
Into the Jungian sea

Next I saw a whimpering wall
Switch to a strumpbelly strict
Then skip and jump and fruddlehump
Man I sobered up quick

Slowly I put down my bottle
Never to drink anymore
Then skipped and jumped and fruddlehumped
Right through the tavern door

Smith poems written February 2024

Smith poems written in February, decent output since Iwas recovering from major surgery.

2024.2.1 – Down on one knee
2024.2.3 – Winter sun warm through window
2024.2.9 – Notes During 9 Days Hospital After Being Gutted
2024.2.10 – Man I’m zinging
2024.2.15 – Oh Great Guru on mountain top
2024.2.18 – Riding off into the sunset
2024.2.19 – We live before we think
2024.2.20 – From water
2024.2.21 – I stare long into my black coffee
2024.2.22 – Almost dusk
2024.2.23 – Some days you could use a little extra edge
2024.2.25 – A light here
2024.2.26 – Large old rescue dog at my feet
2024.2.29 – Lotta rooster

~ ~ ~

Down on one knee
trusting in technology
trying to get home

~ ~ ~

Winter sun warm through window
paints my leg in light leaf and shadow
dancing up old man’s thigh

Sun on skin
skin on bone
nought between

Much of me on hospital floor
in back alley bin
night soil

Yet day dawns
slow
in pain

My breath remains
one more awake gained
death gamed

In I.C.U.
after tube pulled from throat
and pain pump attached

I kept pushing Dilaudid
which’d always worked
but not now

Saw Charon’s Crossing
boat looked nice
water forgetful

But no

Large Enso circle
formed in air
looked wherever I looked

Then, inside circle
Keith Richard’s face fades in in b&w
congratulates me into the Survivor’s Club

And dissolves
leaving pain
and smile

~ ~ ~

Notes During 9 Days Hospital After Being Gutted

Quick couple clicks of Dilaudid
Elvis’ favorite drug
not doing much

Death is a cautious creature
prefers unlocking doors

Circular face appeared on suppy cabinet
b&w 3/4’s Keith Richards
welcoming me to Survivors Club
followed by tinny wail of David Bowie’s Fame
and Leonard Cohen’s Fingerprints
maybe the Dilaudid’s working after all

Shadows from unknown angles
showing strange numbers without reason

Been hearing wife’s voice
explaining our situation out in the hall
but she’s home
not here
maybe I’m hearing her prayers

Ride the pain train for the famous
fame for the rest

Must be considered
I’m seeing what’s considered differently

Six days since solids
five days clear liquids
first sip black caffeine and chicken broth
pure ecstacy

If I don’t piss
they put catheter back in
don’t poop, don’t go home

Wife 27 years younger
stealing time from stressed work line
to be with me in hospital
in case I die

Writing poem notes
sets off alarm from taped oxygen measurer
poetry is dangerous

4:20 a.m.
hit the Dilaudid button
Elvis would be proud

Keith Richards’ blessing appearance
wife’s phantom prayers in hall
keep the current going

Some suffering is spent
crawling to the future
pain price to come

It’s a downhill slope
mind gets wiser, body weaker
the cost of continuing

5th day after gutting me
imbibing caffeine and Dilaudid
rare Cleveland sunshine

Pain grows
blossoms into brilliance
backstabs my own

In hospital room
shivering with cold
wife gives me sweater off her back

Buy now!
Get one free!
Guarranteed money back!
late night TV

Gotta tell you
weary, hurt, and worry
not best place to be

How long o body
can spirit hold on
and still be worth it

Have to live long enough
to see Trump the Feces
finally flushed

Crashing into body pain
climbing out and writing
Smith is disaster artist

There’s always small print
trying to balance my pain meds
with pooping

Swollen scrotum
not enough room between thighs
and size

Black coffee from top
suppository up bottom
jumpstart my machine

Wife calls
asks how I am
I weep

Nurse comes in
asks if she can look at my scrotum
tell her she’s the first to ever ask that
we laugh
tell her there’s an old country swing song
Big Balls In Cow Town
she says I know the most interesting things

Glad I’m taking notes
all this is what the mind wipes
so flesh can continue

They once called me stoneface
today talking luck in wife and life
I weep four times

Overhear my roommate on phone
old thin small black man
“This is a big one Luke
they got me this time”

Hour before dawn
and next hospital pain pill
trying to find my way

Stuck in hospital
till I feces flush
so I do my doo-doo duty

Bio me
bio you
biome we

I shit my pants
doc says go home
I weep

Last day turns on me
cable TV quits
food turns bad
comes late

Gotta grim and grit it
as I leak my lizard

“This somber season has its solicitudes”
wife says, sipping hot coffee

Pull battered flesh
from bind of bed
into damn of day

It gets basic down at the lifeline
no baby Buddha bouncing in a box

I’m half human
not the good half
just the pain

Doctor says she put her hand in my chest
and my heart beat against it

Each pain’s passing
shows hundreds lurking below

Gut cut from pubis to sternum
50 staples holding belly together
pure will fighting high pain
but soon now will be then

I have to dance on the leaves
sing with the shadows

~ ~ ~

Man I’m zinging
too much CAFFEINE stomping my lizard
plus wig’s tightened considerably
considering tokes taken gummies infused
zing zanging my Zig Zagging
tanking yet more coffee
riding the red line

remembering back
wife and I picked coffee in Mexico
on steep side of mountain
above the clouds
river sounds somewhere below
lizards fucking on stump
pineapples growing from ground
vanilla vines hugging coffee tree trunk
like the snake sniffing Eve
so tired at end of day
I almost fell off mountain climbing back to bed

on busride home stop
stood on a boulder bulging from the mountain
and pissed on the white clouds below

they say function sum junction
for max consumption
or somethin’
at least that’s my assumption

but wife and I’ve met angels more than once
seen some slime
have new angles on meat and mind

~ ~ ~

Oh Great Guru on mountain top
what say you to us lower lot?

Nothing is always
and always is always nothing soon

In sun and shadow, rough and smooth
whatever your angle, you snooze you lose

~ ~ ~

Riding off into the sunset
82 mph
one hand on the wheel
low on gas
no destination
just enough time to get there

~ ~ ~

We live before we think
run upstream, foul the water
dash down, drink

~ ~ ~

From water
to land
to atoms
to ashes
we went from pointy sticks
to nuclear frission
awfully fast
for folk who understand neither value
nor mission

Error Error willful one
404 logic not found
go to 420

~ ~ ~

I stare long into my black coffee
it stares deep into me
it goes to sleep

~ ~ ~

Almost dusk
rooster still crowing sun up
clouds 1, chicken 0

Okay flux, here we go
into the body of the body beast

Rooster cries “rise”
chainsaw growls “die”
both wolves feed

Why does day run on so
why isn’t sleeping time longer?

Underwear is put away
some hanging things are hung
my work here is done

~ ~ ~

Some days you could use a little extra edge
like another year of sleep
or an endless cup of big black coffee
with a sticky cinnamon bun
on a quiet street in Amsterdam
back before the plague
before the dead mom and the new live wife
who’se likely saved my life at least twice
so far physically
more literally
the why and how of how I’m still here
who the flux knows
but she’s part of it
plus me being old bird tough
and of course luck
always luck
lots and lots of luck
and maybe just maybe me making the gods laugh
often, deep, long, and loud
for which I’m grateful
proud
and, as always
a fool in fuel of frisson

~ ~ ~

A light here
a light there
a lot of dark between

~ ~ ~

Large old rescue dog at my feet
wish I could be as content
or prance in such joy at walk time
not sure which of us is creakier
has worse arthritis
our main differences are
kids love to see him
and I don’t shit in the street

~ ~ ~

Lotta rooster
little sun
life in Cleveland

~ ~ ~