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kathy & smith’s ever expanding rules of travel – we’ve been out of country 5.5 months now on the road through england, holland, poland, croatia, slovenia, italy with france and spain next. these are some of the things we’ve learned the hard way.
0 – whatever you know, there’s a lot more you don’t.
1 – no sunday travel if possible … things are closed, schedules changed for the worse, folks elsewhere.
2 – check each country’s holiday schedule … for all the reasons listed in #1.
3 – take only what you can carry … you may have to walk miles, up down over obstacles, with it all on your back.
4 – wash clothes every chance you get … laundromats are frequently non-existent, as are washing machines – and clothes driers are a myth.
5 – do it now … never put anything off because this may be your only chance to see / buy / wash / eat.
6 – always have a backup plan … for travel, busses, sleep, escape, life.
7 – get a map of the area.
8 – look around for identifiable landmarks when you leave a subway, parking lot, or bus stop because you’ll be returning from a different direction, perhaps in the dark.
9 – learn the basic phrases of the language … folk treat you nicer when you try … please, thank you, where, how much, coffee, water.
10 – find out if the water is drinkable … use bottled water until you know.
11 – wear comfortable traveling clothes … forget about fashion, convenience is more important.
12 – carry backup clothes light enough to be washed in sink and dried quickly in room … like fisherman pants.
13 – carry umbrella, scarf, hat, gloves … weather changes rapidly in places like london, you must be ready for cold, warm, hot, wet, dry all on same day … it’s always colder or warmer than you think.
14 – drink a lot of water … you need 8-12 glasses of water daily … coffee and alcohol deplete body water … it’s easy to get dehydrated, dizzy.
15 – never count on internet access, even when advertised … free wireless is generally a myth.
16 – never count on anyone except yourself … even if someone is totally reliable, they may get hit by a bus or a republican.
17 – carry a pocket compass … especially in old cities like venice and amsterdam where inner alleys resemble stone mazes.
18 – walk everywhere … you see much more, and it’s good for your body and mind.
19 – be nice, polite … you’re your country’s ambassador, frequently the only proof your entire country isn’t the same asshole your government is.
20 – help others … you never know when you’ll need help yourself.
21 – go where others don’t … go off season, off route, off country … the well traveled path is less rewarding.
22 – if it were easy, everyone would be doing it … part of the prize is becoming more than you are, and that always involves discomfort and pain.
23 – be respectful, polite, and patient with cops, border guards, bureaucrats, and anybody with a gun.
24 – if possible, don’t fly … the airports are becoming the new concentration camps, and planes contribute to global warming.
25 – listen to what the country’s citizens say … you might learn something about yourself and your country, or theirs.
26 – tell friends and folk you meet where you’re going … they may know someone or some thing to help, but don’t take their word as gospel… everyone will try to tell you where to go, what to do, what is and isn’t … listen, but research and evaluate on your own.
27 – when taking trains and busses, try to find the number of stops, the names of places in between, and a trip time estimate … it’s hard to know where or when to disembark in a strange land and language.
28 – give yourself twice as much time as you think you’ll need.
29 – short hair is easier for travel than long … no hair easiest of all.
30 – use the internet to check the area’s history … makes the visit richer.
31 – go to the bathroom before you leave the house, train or restaurant and carry “piss pence” because public toilets are usually pay toilets, and they are frequently foul.
32 – a day or two is not enough to experience a place … quick visits are shallow trophies.
33 – carry a small sewing kit, a small flashlight, eating utensils, scissors, aspirin.
34 – it’s cheaper to buy food from grocery stores than eat in restaurants.
35 – dental and doctors are much cheaper behind the old iron curtain and in the far east.
36 – as much as i hate them, a cell phone is advisable for connections and emergencies.
37 – check schedules and info twice … it’s easy to transpose digits … write down times and addresses to take with you.
38 – keep a daily list of what you spend and what for … it’s easy to overspend.
39 – if you want something to happen, you are going to have to make it happen yourself.
i respected cnn back when i didn’t watch tv. but now i’m watching cnn daily from 6 to 7 each morning here in croatia, i see it’s just another shallow spin jester working for the man. kathy calls them the CORPORATE news network. they push rolexes, designer luggage, pabulum. their in-depth programs have as much substance as cotton candy. cnn – less than meets the eye, all the news that fits pre-chewed. thank goodness for http://www.commondreams.org/ and other independent internet news sources which contain actual content and speak to folk with working brains and open minds. cnn: content net nothing.
“Into the Interior: a vast subdivision, antennae of television to the meaningless sky…there is no drag like U.S. drag.” – naked lunch, 1959.
i re-read william burrough’s naked lunch. read it 40 years ago before i did the drugs. whole new book this time, more powerful. over the edge, perverse, mostly unpleasant, but undeniable originality and genius. for the mind, not the soul. do know cronenberg’s 1991 movie of naked lunch has almost nothing of the book in it. the movie’s not as depraved, much more enjoyable. the novel has no plot line, story, consistency or continuity.
“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for an answer. Like one of those thinking machines, you feed in your question, sit back, and wait…” – naked lunch.
