lady k kills the pirated movie we just watched (sofia coppola’s marie antoinette – 2006), “i bit bucketed it”. i ask her if that’s how she’s going to dispose of me when i go – “no, i’m going to recycle you, maybe make you into brownies.” at least i won’t have those old bit bucket blues.
5 days left in our french love nest. i like it here. i’m not prepared to leave. i’m ready to move on. i’m not prepared to stay. sort of like my life – i like being me, i don’t like being me. but bottom line, there’s no one past present future living dead i’d rather be than me, and i’d rather be alive than dead – so i guess i gotta be me. my options are somewhat limited – be me, not be me, be alive, not be alive. besides, lady k isn’t done sucking all my past stories from these bones. she finds me more interesting than i do, but i do lick myself incessantly anyway.
what is the sound of one hand clapping?
– patting yourself on the back.
finally created a knock knock joke:
knock not.
who’s there?
– not the world, knocked much longer.
not knock.
who’s there?
– knock the world, not much longer.
there, i now have 6 categories of original jokes…
my chicken crossing the road joke:
double cross
why did the chicken cross the road?
– to get revenge for the road crossing him.
my grape joke:
what’s purple, really angry, and you’d better stay out of their way?
– the grapes of wrath.
my cop jokes:
What do you call an honest cop? – mythological.
What do you call a dead cop? – necessary.
my abortion joke:
Persian abortion – stuff snake up snatch, turn mongoose loose.
add in my zen koan jokes, my knock knock jokes, and i’m ready for the big time. i could be the steven wright of sufi stand-up comedy.
one more zen koan joke:
why is the sound of one gland collapsing?
– what the right gland giveth, the wrong gland taketh awry.
