rash & burn

Huautlan centipede – foto by smith

finally went to a doctor today about the pain that appeared in my left groin 5 months ago – it’s a hernia. doc says the pain i’ve had in my right groin from trying to lift my 250 pound collapsed mother off the floor 4 years ago is not a hernia but rather a damaged tendon.

so i’m having the hernia surgically fixed – between $1,300 and $1,800 dollars will take care of everything. our small savings become ever smaller.

the doctor was around my age, the most easy going pleasant mannered doctor i’ve come across. he asked lady if i were her father. i replied no, i’m her husband. he looked down, mortified, smiled ruefully and said “I blew that one.” told him not to worry, that’s what everyone assumes. you just cannot get around a 27 year age gap in couples. folk don’t think it’s natural. if i weren’t on the inside of us, i’d wonder what the heck in perversion was going on myself.

but before they can operate, they need to get my arrhythmic heart beating correctly, so it could be 2 weeks of medicine before i’m repaired.

i’ve been walking around town with my left hand down my pants holding the hernia in – been getting some odd looks from folk wondering why i have my hand down my pants in public. i tell them my penis is lonely and i’m keeping it company.

it’s a relief to know for sure what’s wrong and to have started the repair process. my body is not me. my mind spirit is me. my body is mere vehicle. unfortunately, it’s an essential component in this life on earth.

if we sell the book, i’ll get the right groin tendon fixed as well, then take the dancing lessons i’ve promised lady if i ever got repaired.

did a bit of self cure too. my left forearm blistered. not sure if it was too much sun or brushing against some toxic plant, but it itched like mad and wouldn’t go away. lasted months. put anti-biotic cream on it but it just made it worse. finally i rubbed it open raw with a towel, then poured rubbing alcohol over it. burned like hell, but it got rid of the rash. rash & burn.

this getting old and breaking down is a finite process. only so much body to break. i’ve lived a hard fast life, so who knows how much of me is left to fail. unfortunately for younger healthier lady, if she wants my warped mind and twisted stories, she must follow me around and pick up the broken pieces that fall off me as i lurch from marijuana mound to mushroom mold.

Maria Sabina museum, Huautla, Mexico – foto by smith