shrunken head shortage

cellulose ghosts – foto by Smith

You know inflation’s getting out of hand when 31 years ago you could buy a shrunken head for $500 and today it’s $50,000 because no one is shrinking heads anymore. It’s sad to lose the old skills. There supposedly haven’t been any new shrunken heads made in the last 100 years even though we’ve an ever expanding number of Freudian mind shrinkers. Maybe I could get a government grant and learn how – I’d shrink only politician’s heads though since they’re all moral pinheads anyway and no one would miss them.

Hard to buy an Iron Maiden torture device too – Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museums says there are only 10 in the world, although Wikipedia says they’re all forgeries. I read that a lot of the classic torture devices have fallen along the wayside, having been replaced by political speeches (which are truly torturous and painful).

Ripley’s museums are having trouble finding enough oddities to fill their ever expanding number of museums – they now have 67 locations world wide, and Ripley’s policy is that they all must include a shrunken head. They’ve even been reduced to buying fake Iron Maidens, and say fake shrunken heads go for $5,000.

I heard they hired Diogenes to find them one honest man to display, but so far he’s still searching.

They do have a portrait of Barack Obama made of 12,000 gum balls in their New York museum – although I’m suspicious of their count because it’s probably 12,009 or 10,997 gumballs and they’re rounding off their lies.

Maybe we could hunt down Dick Cheney, stuff him and sell him to Ripley’s as a man without a heart, a soul, regret, standards, ethics, or morality – except considering how many other politicians, priests, CEOs, cops and Television evangelists fit that same bill, he probably isn’t unique enough to qualify, which is a sad commentary on life on fast dying Mother Earth.

You know, it’s almost as if Mother Earth is going through menopause, and humans are both cause and symptom.

alas poor Yorick – foto by Smith