Sometimes I deliberately leave the poetry scene, I deliberately don’t create art or write because it can just be too overwhelming and come at the expense of the necessities of life.
The aftermath of Yuyu’s leaving is like a perfumy vaccuum of curry evacuated out the space hatch. I feel happy, rich with community and words, but too stimulated. I’m sleeping and not delusional but very poetic and unable to focus on anything other than art and writing, not work, though I’m trying. Grandpa is not on the radio lately but Smith’s worrying because I’m overstimulated.
Poor Smith got his tooth pulled this morning. He just walked in with blood on his hands, bloody packing in his mouth.
“What’s the damage?” I asked.
“Oh, not too bad. $100 to get the tooth pulled and $15 for the pain pills.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I said. “How are you?”
“I’m sick of the taste of blood.”
Yuyu offered to take my grandma to Nepal to live out the rest of her days. I told him we’d miss her but he could ask. I told her his offer and I don’t think it registered with her. I think it would be neat. Imagine, Grandma in Nepal. In Nepal they have a festival when you turn 77. You’re carried around town in a chair by porters.
It’s just such a messy blessing, this existence.
Smith and I found a very good movie (a VGM) yesterday, “Kabluey.” It also led to some very good music (VGM) and I’m falling in love with the music. I thought there was no more music for me on this planet, which was bad, because I love music.
Lady
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I’m really digging the music – makes me wanna see Kabluey now, too.
Nice piece. I too have been sleeping alot and unable to focus these last few days. In my experience, this means I need to stop trying to focus and just let myself be for awhile. It’s hard to stop doing, stop trying to accomplish something. But once I let myself rest more, the fog passes. I hope Smith feels better soon. Tooth surgery is never fun!
“It’s just such a messy blessing, this existence” What a line, how true!!!!
Jen
I too go in phases where I’m too stimulated to write. Sometimes I just want to hide until the world stops it’s chaotic spinning so I can step back out again. Maybe a poetry hibernation of sorts? 🙂 Glad to know I am not the only one that goes through that. I will check out the music. Always in the mood for new/good music! *hugs*