just sayin’ – foto by Smith
Head depressed. Heart dark. Energy enervated. Brain dead. Sun gone. Cold coming. Money shrinking. Poetry readings receding. Art shows non-existent. Memoir ignored. Lady suffering inner demons of the profound and ethical.
I need an immediate fix of the absurdity, the philosophical playfulness, the enigmatic encodings, the fun findings, the silly sayings, the seriously stupid, and the provocatively pedantic ponderings of my hapless headlines helplessly harvested from the insanity currently known as year 2010.
So my choices today will be gentle, silly, subtle, perhaps even thoughtful — with only an occasional stick in the eye to keep my curmudgeon status active.
~ ~ ~
‘Captain Underpants’ Expands With ‘The Adventures of Ook and Gluk’
I Shop Therefore I Am: Can Objects Make Us Happy?
Woman Sells Two ‘Ghosts In A Bottle’ For $2,000 In Bidding War
Is There Any Integrity Or Honesty Out There?
Confessions Of A Closet Curmudgeon
Why Does God Hide?
Hell And God’s Love
If You Can’t Forgive, You Can’t Dance
‘If Trouble Don’t Kill Me’
Plight of the Living Dead
Death, Impermanence And Continuity
‘Dead Guy Sauce’
Does the Past Exist Yet? Evidence Suggests Your Past Isn’t Set in Stone
Is It Time For Shame To Make A Comeback?
Boulder Woman Gets 30 Days In Jail For Taping Dog To Fridge
Vegetarians Are Happier Than Meat-Eaters
Happiness Is Overrated
Is Suffering Necessary?
Twilight of the Preppies
Inside The Great Reptilian Conspiracy: From Queen Elizabeth to Barack Obama — They Live!
Cat Farts And Hiccups At The Same Time
The Ultimate Escape: The Bizarre Libertarian Plan of Uploading Brains into Robots to Escape Society
Stupid signs:
Psychic Fair cancelled due to unforseen circumstances
Need assistance accessing our Internet? Please visit Starbucks.com/Wifi
George Bush Center for Intelligence
No Pets Allowed / All Pets Must Be On Leash
Boulder Psychic Doesn’t Foresee Her Fraud Arrest
Odd Festivals:
Mike the Headless Chicken Festival (Fruita, Colo.)
Baby-Jumping Festival (Castrillo de Murcia, Spain)
Naked Festival (Okayama, Japan)
The World’s Largest Catsup-Bottle Festival (Collinsville, Ill.)
Russian Minister Urges Citizens To Smoke, Drink More
Australian Sex Party Trumpets Drugs, Dysfunction And Liberal Values
Caught Between The Dow And The Tao
The Universe Rewards Action, Not Thought
Scientists Freeze Water With Heat
Let’s stop pretending that hard work conquers all
If Obama Isn’t Nicer to Us Rich People, We Will Destroy America
Let Us Now Return to Those Thrilling Mistakes of Yesteryear
Woman Calls 911 From Jail Cell, Says Police ‘Trapped’ Her
Woman Calls 911 To Ask For Date
Drunk Man Calls 911 For Ride To Liquor Store
Homeless Man Calls 911 From Hot Tub, Asks For Cocoa And A Hug
3-Year-Old Boy Calls 911 When Grandmother Has Seizure
Man Charged With Stealing, Driving A Police Car While Drunk
Drunk Man Loses $1.3 Million Painting
“I don’t think he is 100 percent honest, but he’s no worse than other politicians.”
“I love mankind — it’s people I can’t stand.” — Charles M. Schulz, creator of Peanuts
10-Year-Old Sets World Record By Wearing 215 Pairs Of Underpants
around n around we goes – foto by Smith
“Homeless Man Calls 911 From Hot Tub, Asks For Cocoa And A Hug”
When I was in Spokane this summer a homeless guy on the corner of a major intersection was holding a sign that said “Need $100 for Motel Room”. And now I find that your guy is in a hot tub, so I’m thinkin’ that homelessness isn’t quite what it used to be. It’s a little hard to imagine Woody Guthrie being inspired by these guys:
“This tub is your tub / this tub is my tub
I need my room cleaned / I need a back rub……”
I like the one about selling two ghosts in a bottle… it sound like something to drink.. no???? LOL…
thanks .. these are always fun.
If trouble don’t kill me, happiness will.
If we get this 2nd annual Snoetry up and running, I’d love to have you and Lady read for us again, if interested. We’ve been offered a cool venue in Erie, but I’d really like to do it closer to home this time if we can find the right place to do it – maybe even in Lorain County. I’m trying to raise the poetic profile of my home county. Lots of poets here, but we go to Cleveland for poetry or get looked at as Cleveland poets – nothing wrong with that at all – but I want to cultivate a scene here more local to me, too. Got some “poetential” event irons in the fire besides Snoetry – and you’re among the first on my list to ask to read.