carrot stick art by S. Gross, 1978, Chiplis studio – foto by Smith

I tried to explain a couple of word meanings to Lady this morning and she scoffed at me. Actually said “Hah!” Where went her vow of “for better or worse”? Oh wait, we had a Wiccan wedding with oils and verse and such, with no *obey-better-worse* being mentioned, so I guess she’s off the hook contractually.

Told her “Pioneer” was what you said when you saw someone with pie on their ear, and that “Coincide” was what you called a pregnant mother who had named her fetus “Co”. . . of course after birth it’d be “Cooutside”.

Here are a few fortune cookie sayings I’ve gotten down at the corner Buddhist Beat Cafe.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Patting yourself on the back.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get revenge for the road crossing it.

Knock not.
Who’s there?
Not the world, knocked much longer.

Why did the egg cross the road?
To get to the chicken on the other side.

What’s purple, really angry, and you’d better stay out of its way?
The grape of wrath.

What do you call an honest cop?

Persian abortion:
Stuff snake up snatch, turn mongoose loose.

What should you do if you see a drowning banker?
Toss him a hundred pound bag of pennies.

Why is the sound of one gland collapsing?
What the right gland giveth, the wrong gland taketh awry.

danger above – foto by Smith

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