Member No Solicit – foto by Smith
Not enough monkey business going on, way too much serious shoots sprouting unspring-like.
So, let’s lighten the load with some odiously odd and seriously silly headlines I’ve harvested from the news sevices these past three years.
With headlines like these, no wondfer Monty Python disbanded — they couldn’t compete anymore.
Extra Extra Read All About It ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Fish Fart To Communicate
Scientist Makes Poop Burger
Dog Gets Book Deal
Amazing Discovery Uncovered By Baboons
Cell Phone Keeps Ringing After Being Eaten By Crocodile
Bear Chased Off With Country Music
Kleptomamaniac Cat Steals Over 600 Bizarre Items From Neighbors
55-Year-Old Woman Saves Husband From Tiger Attack With Soup Ladle
Scientists Discover How To Store Data In Hack-Proof Bacteria
Father Knows Breast: Mother’s Milk Cocktails
Hong Kong Gets Nude Cooking TV Show
Promiscuous Squirrels Mate With 14 Partners A Day
Reindeer Get High On Magic Mushrooms
Nazis Tried To Train Dogs To Read, Write, And Speak
Brilliant Dog Understands Over 1,000 Words, Breaking Vocabulary Record
Snake Dies After Biting Model’s Breast Implants
States Running Out Of Smart People
People Are Allergic to the Facts
Are Humans Evolving to Be Dumber?
Artist Has Digital Camera Implanted In Head
Woman Addicted To Eating Couch Cushions
Drunk Driver, 32 Times Over Legal Limit, Arrested In Mercedes Full Of Stolen Sheep
Glenn Beck Wields A Chainsaw, Pets A Bunny
And for those of you who believe there’s no death after life, here’s da news wit da clues.
Dead Man Found Alive, Arrested
Woman Dies At Her Own Funeral
Dead Man Waking: Alive After 21 Hours In Morgue Fridge
Baby, Declared Dead, Cries Before Burial
Woman Falls Out Of 3rd Floor Window, Lands On Car, Falls Asleep
NYC Man Falls 40 Stories, Lands On Car, SURVIVES
Snails Can Survive A Bird’s Digestive System And Emerge On Other side…In Droppings
Dead Cows Cloned To Boost US Beef Production
And finally, we poets get our due:
Why Are Poets Always The Rabble Rousers?
Writer Killed Over A Poem In Iraq
‘Poetry Is a Dumb-Ass Spider’
The Poetry Foundation: Is Rap Poetry?
“Rap is short for crap”. – Gregg Allman
If yr wonderin’ – foto by Smith