GENUINE COMMUNICATION

People seem fundamentally unknowable, unless you live with them 24/7. Even so, if they do not write or talk deeply, they still seem fundamentally unknowable. Still, I’m struggling with this. I do not know if words are important other than for immediate needs.

Most talk about politics, academic subjects, seems lame, pretentious–a pointless echo chamber.

All small talk seems to just serve the purpose of lubricating social gatherings. Most talk is small talk.

I am most interested in talk about pushing past boundaries and adventures, or talk that struggles with philosophy and religion. These are particularly vital subjects for our time, considering our probable impending self-destruction. I’m constantly zoomed out on this plane.

I find it hard to comment on any blogs, even ones that seem brilliant. I literally do not have anything to contribute other than the obvious.

I want to be sure that I am being genuine, that I am not commenting merely for reciprocity’s sake. That I really have something to say, that I’m not just trying to be polite. I often can’t tell the difference.

Perhaps the ideal blog would push my mental space past uncomfortable boundaries, make me see reality with expanded parameters. I wish to be stimulated.

To argue rather than agree or praise seems more genuine, because all agreement seems banal in the era of blogging and compelled reciprocity.

I do not wish my friendship banal, so maybe I’m holding back from a lot of electronic communication until I can get back to the States and recalibrate my reality. Genuine friendship without the taint of reciprocity involved in artificial social networking. It’s difficult for me to tell up from down because I am so socially isolated in Mexico. E-communication is not sufficient.

Words are coming back to me, but I feel that I’m rebuilding myself from scratch.

Lady