hi-def death

pain 100% – foto by Smith

Walked into the laundromat yesterday and before I was even through the door, an old woman asked me if I were ready for the TV switch. Asked her what she meant. She explained that analog TV was being turned off in a few minutes to be switched to hi-def digital.

Told her I didn’t have a TV and she exclaimed “Well what do you DO then?” Explained we read, write, watch movies on our laptops. She was horrified.

As the switchover approached, she turned up the TV for the countdown. I watched as the announcer intoned “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,” and at zero the TV channel disappeared into white static. She went frantic whining about how she couldn’t come here if there were no TV, how the owners were too cheap for cable, how they were going to lose all their customers, how all the bars had to have TV to bring the customers in.

I hid my smile. I go early to the laundromat on purpose just to avoid the TV people who have the Judge Judys and game shows and talk show braindeads constantly blaring as I try to read.

She yapped and yapped and yapped at me about no TV and I kept my face neutral and said nothing because she’s human with her own needs and I’ve no right to mock her misery. Her standards and needs are not mine, but I’ve no moral right to belittle hers. She wouldn’t understand anyway.

Unfortunately after 10 minutes she turned it back on and started switching channels and found one working and she turned the sound WAY up and ran out where I was reading to shout “WE HAVE TV.”

Each new customer that comes in she immediately runs to them and tells them the story of how the TV died, how a few channels came back, how cheap the laundromat owners are, how they’re going to lose all their customers, how the bars all have TV. I heard the story 6 more times.

A news program comes on and she leaps up, rushes to the controls and changes it to a children’s game show. As soon as she finishes her laundry and leaves, I turn it off.

Then the machines turn on me. Two of my washing machines finish, but the third gets stuck at 6 minutes in the spin cycle. I get the two loads into the dryer, come back 10 minutes later and the washer still says “6 minutes, spin.” The washer door is locked so I can’t get my load out. I shake the machine, pound on the control panel, try to force the locked door open and pound it shut over and over over and finally time starts moving again.

After my drying cycle is done, I find one of my two driers had no heat so I have to dry them all over again in another drier.

That night as Lady and I are walking around the neighborhood ArtWalk, I see the mad TV lady sitting on a bench outside the ice cream shop and we nod and smile at each other in recognition.

what now we’re bored – foto by Smith