street art left where I found it – foto by Smith

I have a story to tell of Lady’s past two year mental Roller Coaster House of Horror, but my words keep getting too jumbled, what with my issues of her privacy, our love, my ego and emotion, and the mutual pain brain breakdown brings us both. I figure the words won’t come because I’m not ready to be honest, even though Lady says it’s okay to write about it as long as I love her — she says I’ll do fine and be fair. But fine and fair can still lead to hurt and angry words, so it’s a lose-lose-lose situation in that I lose if I don’t write, I lose if I write dishonestly, and we both might lose if I write well and true. So what have I got to lose? (That’s a joke, folk, even though it’s true — after all Sigmund Fraud said there are no jokes, only the subconscious speaking sneaky unacceptable truths. Of course Freud is a frequently a fraud and joke himself what with his constant cocaine compromises and his sucking large erect penis cigars).

So until the words come, I’ll dither dather blither blather and show you my own public art-thief collection, personally stolen by yours untruly. I brought these three pieces of public guerrilla art home from recent walks. Two were painted on Post Office adhesive shipping labels and glued to metal fence poles — but they were coming loose from age and weather and would soon be lost if I didn’t take them to save and blog, so I feel morally safe about them. The third was nailed to a rotting fence post in an out of the way place and I pried it loose with my fingers. I plan to incorporate all three into an art piece of my own.

(Guilt-saving note – I also over the decades have left guerrilla art in odd places in various cities and country sides on multiple continents for people to stumble across, ponder, and perhaps poach. In fact I knowingly lost three large fine art assemblages at the Temple of Lost Love Happening back in 1991 beneath the Eagle Street bridge – by the time the event was over, my art was gone, which was what I wanted. I also lost two beautiful paintings from a sidewalk as I was loading my pickup for an art show – someone came along while I was loading, picked up two small pieces and walked on so casually I never realized it was more than someone simply stopping for a look of appreciation; it pissed me off, but I have to admit I admire the casual coolness of their theft — takes cool to steal in full view).

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Well that was yesterday, and “Yesterday’s Gone” according to Chad & Jeremy’s 1963 hit.

Last night Lady decided it was time to stop taking her meds again because they make her constantly hungry which makes her gain weight, and weight is a major issue for her because ten years ago she was 300 pounds and it took her 5 years of serious discipline, exercise, and diet to get down to her present weight (plus a year of bulimia). She says she cannot emotionally handle getting fat again — which gives me a good clever selfish sad line to start my next segment of the story: Loves Madness, Hates Fatness.

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But before I slip-side away from those serious issues and show you instead the found art, here’s a commercial — tonight is the Lix & Kix monthly 3rd Wednesday poetry reading at the Bela Dubby, 13321 Madison Avenue in Lakewood, Ohio . I’ll most likely be there, perhaps with my newly head-shaved Lady. I say likely because our needs, schedules, and expectations change so rapidly around here lately depending on how much sleep she’s gotten because her mania messes up her sleep cycle among other things.

Anyway John Burroughs (Lix&Kix co-host with Dianne Borsenik) has uploaded three videos of Lady and me reading our poetry at Feed the Gays 2 last March.

Here’s Lady:

And here I am in two parts:

It was a hard audience – it was at the Union Station Bar and Bounce concert venue on Detroit Ave. The college audience didn’t care much about poetry, just hooking up with fresh meat, and the Bounce concert hall to the left of the stage was playing heavy metal music during the readings. Yet it was a good reading – had to try harder to be heard.

found public guerrilla art – fotos by Smith

4 Responses

  1. Just would like to say one thing I have always loved about your blog and about you and Lady personally is your honest or as near to honest sharing of what happens in your life and how you cope.
    It really helps me to read what you share… both in understanding you and others which usually leads to my understanding myself in a wider circle.
    I think allowing people to see Lady’s mental journey and how you try to deal with it helps to understand and humanize it. I think people are very fearful of what they don’t know and don’t understand.
    I think what you share is important…
    thank you.

  2. i’m in a quandary – some would hurt lady, some would sound like whining, some truths she just wouldn’t accept and would cause fights. but there is something to be told there, and a way around to it somewhere. just not sure how.

  3. Though our issues are different than yours, I, too, often feel unable to write what I want when it comes to home life, and for very similar reasons.

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