for better and worse
 lady’s art alter – foto by smith Answers New morning light lady’s stopped taking her morning antipsychotic medicine because it makes her feel tired, sluggish, foggy. she still takes the night dose so she can sleep. this regime seems to be working for her – she’s creating books and websites like mad, yet still operates within parameters we can communicate from. she’s still a mite manic, still searching for higher planes of reality, but that’s a plane we all need to search more for. i had a minor epiphany about my current inner malaise. before lady, i didn’t care. i knew the world was bad getting worse, but it didn’t matter because i’d had a full life in which i’d created a body of art & poetry, published a slew of others in 20 years of artcrimes, and had lived an interesting life outside the barcodes. those i loved or cared about were either dead or self sufficient, so the world’s darkness didn’t much matter to me. i observed it and railed against it and used it to fuel my creativity, but knew i couldn’t stop it and that the madness was going to get worse. then lady entered my life. the human world was still a massive pool of dark unhappiness and unfairness hell-bent on self-destruction, but the we of she and me created a magic bubble of light in which we moved and lived. we brightened the darkness wherever we were and shared our light with others still seeking. but with lady’s breakdown, outer dark entered and dimmed our fairytale world. i thought we were safe within our self-created bubble – but no one is ever safe in this world. dealing with this has depleted my inner system of self-happiness adjustments. i have to recalibrate my mind to refill my normal pools of hope and joy. so now it’s a question of re-creating our own world, rebuilding our own levees after the storm, so to speak. which we will, because we’re an authentic bio unit duo bonded one to the other no matter what. for better or worse, we are one.  in between – foto by smith |
